Double the Query, Double the Fun!

Queries may very well become the bane of my existence once I've conquered the whole editing problem.

I sat down yesterday to do the Wednesday Workout, and it was hard!

Very hard.

This is why I'm starting my query letter now. By the time I'm finished writing the book, editing, and polishing I *might* have figured out how to write a decent query.

I'm posting the first attempts here. You may laugh, but only if you offer constructive commentary after!

First, I broke down the story seed for Mirror in the Grave:

Sam Rose is against cloning and clone rights. She’s a recovering Catholic from Canada (say that three times fast) working for the North American Territory Investigations Division as the Alabama’s Divisions chief gopher. She wants a crack at the real crimes, but her boss keeps tossing her the bad ones. When a Jane Doe shows up on the slab that matches Sam’s stats she realizes that she, or her estranged family, could wind up in jail for identity theft. And she’s really be out of a job.

Making an executive decision to save her life, Sam buries the evidence six feet under, paperwork and all. But a new case opens a new way of thinking for Sam. If time travel is possible, could the woman on the slab be a warning?

What I see is: Who - Original Goal - Original Complication - Action - Complication 2

Turning it around for Twisted Metal I have:
Roan (no last name), who wants to survive, who is working the ER in the middle of a military coup, who is taken off-planet by the new government to save the life of an alien prisoner, who then winds up living with aliens and hunted by her government...

Cleaning it up:

Doctor Ar Theta One (Roan in her own mind) just wants to survive the current regime change on her home planet of Pequena. Soldiers force her off-planet at gun point, and she's offered an ultimatum: keep their alien prisoner alive or burn to death as a traitor.

When her patient escapes Roan finds herself the alien living on a world she could never have imagined. Burying the pain of her past isn't enough to keep her past from hunting her down to make good on their promise to see her burn as a traitor.

Verdict: Meh... I have seven months to work on this, and I need it.

What's really hard here is that this doesn't really tell the story. It's killing me! This says nothing about Leo, or Ulric, or Roan's BFF Eschel, or the crazy lady with drug tattoos, or the strange cultures, or ANYTHING! This isn't my story in a sentence, it's barely a hint of what could be.

I've been told that a good query is a teaser, like the back of a book. But I still want to show someone more.

Fun twist: Even if this were my query letter (it's not) I wouldn't send this letter to everyone. This version would be good for an agent or publisher who wants just straight sci-fi. This sells the humanistic aspects of the story.

Because there is kissing in this book I could try to sell it as a SFR novel, the query for agents who represent romance would be different. If I knew the agent was really looking for a spunky sci-fi heroine starring a comedic sci-fi, I'd change the query again.

Adapt or die is the motto for queries. Make it work by selling the agent what they want!

(Go ahead - rip, shred, comment - I can take it)

Wednesday Workout: Query Prep

One of the odd things about writing a 100,000 word novel is that the query letter is almost as hard to write. All 500 words of it.

*sigh*

Watching my friends write their query letters (with great success I might add) has been a learning experience. Query letters are hard. In 500 words you need to pack in your story, your life experience, and a few kind words about whichever agent or publisher you are trying to contact.

Scary!

Last night I sat down to write bone tired. I put 400 miles on the car yesterday, driving to out-of-town doctor's and running errands. All the driving gave my hind-brain time to play and several new plot lines were now demanding attention.

I figured I'd pin them down, save the file, and open at a later date if I ever needed ideas. The pinned down stories looked something like this:

The Smallest Sun

Sun Li is a Terran of Mongolian descent, she’s a little over 5’ tall and often passes for male in a feminist future where males are second-class citizens on many planets. Sun Li gets around space by hitching rides on the outsides of space freighters. She also does “resume building” – murder “social networking” – blackmail and “gift finding” – theft for “discerning clients”.

Sun Li doesn’t start with a whole set of morals but she’s equal opportunity, she doesn’t see anyone as good or bad, and she isn’t attached to any thing, except her spacesuit, until something goes wrong on a job.


Mirror in the Grave/ Jane Doe

Sam Rose is against cloning and clone rights. She’s a recovering Catholic from Canada (say that three times fast) working for the North American Territory Investigations Division as the Alabama’s Divisions chief gopher. She wants a crack at the real crimes, but her boss keeps tossing her the bad ones. When a Jane Doe shows up on the slab that matches Sam’s stats she realizes that she, or her estranged family, could wind up in jail for identity theft. And she’s really be out of a job.

Making an executive decision to save her life, Sam buries the evidence six feet under, paperwork and all. But a new case opens a new way of thinking for Sam. If time travel is possible, could the woman on the slab be a warning?

Looking at those I went... Wait, that looks like the start of a query letter! Ka-ching!!!

I have a way to write the start of a query letter. Those vague ideas that snuck into my brain while I was driving all over the tri-state area are story seeds, basic ideas that I'll expand on later.

That simplicity is what you need in a query letter. But deconstructing a story is hard.

Could deconstructing a seed be a little easier?

Today's workout is to look at query letters that work, look at story seeds that are coherent, and see if you can pick out the main themes that need to be there. If you need examples of good query letters look up Query Shark or Miss Snark.

You can leave notes in the comment box (or sample query letters), and I'll share what I find tomorrow. :o)

Five Questions to Ask

Who, What, Where, When, Why? Five questions are all you really need to build a story. They aren't enough though, not all the time. Today's workout is the five questions you need to improve yourself, your work in progress, and your career.

Answer honestly. You don't need to share your answers, but I'd love to hear what you learn from this experiment. :o)


For You -
1. When was the last time you felt successful?

2. What five character traits would you like to possesses in twenty years?

3. What are your strengths?

4. What one bad habit would you really like to break?

5. What one new skill would you like to learn this year?


For Your WIP -
1. Why did you pick this story to write?

2. How did you envision your MC before you started writing?

3. What is your favorite part of this WIP?

4. What scene is the most challenging, why?

5. What do you want people to take away from this book?


For Your Career -
1. How much time do you invest in the writing portion of your career as an author? Should it be more?

2. Where do you want to be with your career in five years? Ten? Twenty? What milestones do you need to hit (and when) to reach these goals?

3. Which five agents or publishers do you think would be the best fit for your career goals and why?

4. What kind of advertising do you intend to do for your writing and your author brand?

5. What do you want your work to be known for?

Creation, Inspiration, and a Wednesday Challenge

While I spend my morning blog time tending to some spring cleaning I have some fun things for you to play with.

Inspiration of the morning... I listen to the radio while I drive in the morning and the weird news is always an excellent place to find new story ideas. Here are three from this morning.

1. Free Sunday at the Children's Museum and two women got into a fist fight, putting a hole in the wall. WHY?

2. At a viewing of a body two family members started a brawl. DID THE DEAD GUY JOIN? I'm sorry, I'm a horrible person, I picture someone grabbing the corpse and beating his cousin with it.

3. Elderly family member petitioned for money for a vacation. Pays $6,000 which is then used to hire a hit man to kill him. I WANT TO SEE THE SHORT STORY.


Creation.... It's springtime! Officially, even though it's snowing in some places. This means it's time to stretch out and create something new. I'm going to try painting. This is not an artistic talent that I naturally possess, but I'm teaching color wheels and painting at the school on Friday so I'm going to learn Really Quick. I'll try to post pictures with the Friday Random, meanwhile, you show me what you're creating.


Challenge.... I love to laugh. The mark of a great book is one that can make me laugh, cry, and think. Although if the only reason I cry is because the book is over and the next book by the author doesn't come out until November and I'm in withdrawal *DEEP BREATH* That's okay too.

Today I want you to find me something funny. Did you write a tongue-in-cheek blog post? Did you see a hilarious cartoon? Was some headline so badly written you just had to laugh? SHARE! Leave me a link in the comments box and I promise to go check it out later today.

Wednesday Holiday Workshop

Whether you celebrate a holiday this time of year (or all of them, why be stingy when there are so many good reasons to get gifts?), or not, there are some things to keep in mind while you go shopping for presents.

1. Used Books
I love used books. They're dirt cheap and, usually, in decent condition. It's also the only way to find some out-of-print novels.

But, there's a catch. Used book sales are no good for your favorite author. They don't receive royalties for the sale of a used book, and the sale doesn't show up on any tally for the publishers to see.

So, if you're buying all your books used, your favorite author isn't getting the credit for the sales and there is a very real possibility that the publisher might not pick up the next book in the series.

Painful as it is to pay full price, if you really like an author, buy the book new.

Big Question for Readers: Does anyone know if sales and royalties are reported on used books sold by Indie book sellers? I know the new book sale would be reported, but what about the stores that let you exchange books for store credit? Do they track the sales of the returned books


2. Free is Always Good
Looking for gifts for your writing group? Why not to a Fanfiction swap?

Exchange names and let each member of the group write a short story about someone else's character. You could even pick a theme. Who knows, your friend might really love your idea for Santa replacing the elves with zombies. If nothing else, everyone gets a good laugh out of the deal.

3. Share a Classic
Just not the childhood classics you could never force yourself to read.

Personally, I think books are a wonderful Christmas present. I regular give books to everyone on my list because they're fun and they're still around a week after Christmas (unlike a box of chocolate).

The trick to giving a book to someone is to find a book they haven't read but will enjoy. This means that grabbing a Jane Austen book from the store, because it's a classic dontchyaknow, isn't the best option for your Aunt who loves historical romances.

For the kid who's bored with The Magic Treehouse try something equally exciting and a little more mature (My Teacher Fried My Brains is a personal favorite). For your favorite sci-fi author, well, I could really use the pre-orders for the next Jack Campbell and Lisa Shearin books. Just in case you're wondering.


Big Questions: What's on your reading wish list?

Photo courtesy of and copyright to Zastavki.com

Embrace Your weird

Excellent Article on Embracing Your Weird

I admit, the books I love writing the most started because I knew a story I wanted to read and couldn't find on the shelf. It works.

Go try it.

Read a Book!

I loved this post about reading in the bathtub! I didn't even realize there was a debate about this. as soon as I saw my sunken garden tub in our first house *mumblemumble* years ago I knew it was custom made for reading.

Reading in the bathtub is one of the reasons I insist on collecting paperbacks rather than hardcovers (easier to hold) and why I'm not hot on getting a Kindle (electricity + water = Bad Thing).

I have a whole routine worked out. There are certain bubble baths to match each genre of reading. A preferred glass, okay, mug with handle for my drink. Even a set of hand towels specifically set aside each week for bath time reading.

There's something very luxurious about dropping into a bath thick with bubbles, basking in the gentle glow of candlelight, while you read about your favorite topic. I realize romance is the preferred genre for bubblebaths, but I find a light comedy or any book with explosions will work.

I'll sit there until the bubbles run out and the water grows cold. If the book is good, I add more hot water. I'll spend hours in the bathtub, reading.

When my husband was overseas a few years ago Sunday night was my bathtub night. The children were tucked in bed promptly at 7pm, and then I'd go sit with my book in the tub behind a pair of locked doors. One locked door wasn't enough, Eldest is quite proficient with locks. The second lock was absolutely necessary for my peace and relaxation.

Now, well, with three kids it's hard to squeeze in a bubble bath once a week. That's okay, I like curling up on my big, overstuffed couch under a blanket and enjoying a book there too.

What about you? Where do you snuggle up to read?

Support Banned Books Week

...banned this book from the high school reading list, claiming it "downgrades police departments."

....banned this book about a poor white family in the midst of crisis, from its high school English reading list because of 7 passages which made reference to God or abortion and used curse words

...this book was censored in 1951in Holyoke, Springfield, Massachusetts and in 1953 in Jersey City, New Jersey; blacklisted by National Organization of Decent Literature in 1954.

It's Banned Books Week.

Whether you agree with content of a book or not, the views of a character or not, there is no good reason to ban a book.

This week's workout: Read a Banned Book

A Perfect Moment

Some times there is a perfect moment.

No Wednesday Workout today. Take ten minutes for yourself and just enjoy the day.

Photo courtesy or and copyright to Dangerousmeg on DA

Emotions

"He looked angry."

"She was sullen."

"He was happy."

Telling leaves the reader with nothing.

I can tell you the little girl in this picture is sad, but that doesn't describe her facial expression. It tells me one thing about the scene, but it can't show me everything I want to know.

Back in 2008 the lovely ladies (now just Lady) at the Bookshelf Muse started the Emotion Thesaurus. They did their best to make a complete list of emotions and physical "tells" that would cue a reader in to the character's emotions.

And they did an awesome job.

But I really think every author ought to have their own thesaurus like this where you describe emotions and scenes in your own words. It's best to do this separate of a story. When you aren't under pressure and stressed it's easier to visualize body language.

Wednesday Workout

Pick three emotions and write a one or two paragraph description of the emotion.
--> Describe only what can be seen.
--> If it helps, imagine a character in a soundproof room. Watch them and describe the actions.
--> Save your work for reference when you get stuck during writing or find yourself in a rut.


Let me know how it goes!

Perspective

Part of what makes the human experience unique is perspective. If you show ten different people the same object or image you will get ten different descriptions.

The trouble for writers is that we need to duplicate this difference when we write. If all your characters describe things around them the same, you aren't doing your job.

So, today, we're going to practice writing from various perspectives.

Wednesday Workout

Pick a room or scene or object to describe and write the description from the following points of view:
-> Small child age 3
-> School child age 9
-> Preteen age 12
-> Older teen age 17
-> Adult age 23
-> Adult age 54
-> Adult age 97

Also try describing it from the point of view of varying professions:
-> scientist
-> fighter
-> priest
-> teacher
-> advertiser


What POV is hardest to write authentically?

Do you prefer writing from one gender view? Could you repeat the excercise with the genders reversed from what you originally wrote?

Earliest Memories

What is your earliest childhood memory?

Most people don't have set memories before age seven. The memories predating the age of logic are usually a patchwork of memory, heresy, and imagination. Very few people can describe their first day of school.

They may recall impressions or colors or sounds, but not a list of classmates, what supplies they had, and who their teacher was.

Reading various books and blogs meant for all ages of readers it's obvious not everyone remembers how to think like a child, or even how personal history is remembered.


Humans love patterns. We love patterns in our writing (think poetry). We love patterns in our music. We love patterns in the things around us.

And there are patterns to our memories.

Wednesday Workout: Find the Pattern

List the first five random memories you can recall from early childhood.

--> Don't try to force the memories, you don't want to recall Great-Auntie Dee's 27th wedding that you've seen pictures of and heard talked about since you were old enough to hear the story about the stripper in the wedding cake (don't laugh!), you want to pull up memories that are authentic and unsullied by retelling.

--> Don't try to find consecutive memories. What stands out to you probably won't be sequential so don't try to go there unless it's natural.

--> Once you have the memories listed elaborate on them. Add details that you remember. Stop when you start using your imagination.

--> Look for a pattern. Is there a connection between these things? People? Places? Objects? Emotions? What do the memories have in common?

Quick Quiz!

Without looking at your notes....
1) The title of your Work in Progress is...

2) The third character to appear in the book is ...

3) Their eye color is ...

4) The manuscript fits what genre?

5) The main plot in one sentence is...

6) The major source of tension is...

7) T/F This work is part of a series.

8) T/F This is your first finished novel.

9) T/F You have an agent you know will love this manuscript.

10) T/F You've started the query letter already (just to practice).

Wednesday Workout?

Ha! Right. No, today is Liana Needs Sleep Day. Workouts will have to wait.

Log-Lines

Log Line:
(wikki definition)

a brief summary of a television program or movie, often providing both a synopsis of the program's plot, and an emotional "hook" to stimulate interest.

Examples:
(also taken from wikkipedia)

Charlie Brown is finally invited to a Halloween party; Snoopy engages the Red Baron in a dogfight; and Linus waits patiently in the pumpkin patch for the Great Pumpkin.

-- Log Line for It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, as retrieved from titantv.com on 2005-10-25.

"Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again."

-- Log Line for The Wizard of Oz, attributed to Richard Polito of the Marin Independent Journal, who writes humorously sarcastic briefs for the paper's daily TV listings.

So... does your book have a log line yet?


Picture yourself in an elevator, and in walks your Dream Agent. They ask what you do, you say you're an author, and now you have 30 seconds to tell them what your story is about. What do you say?

Wednesday Workout: Write a log line.

Write something serious. Write something funny. Write something that would grab your attention.

Leave your favorite log line in the comments section :o)

Long-Term Planning

Your Travel Personality Is: Easygoing

When you travel, you're looking for a lot of downtime. Vacations are your chance to recoup. All you need is a scenic spot and plenty of time on your hands. You'll figure out the rest. You're not one to make lots of plans when you travel. You just follow whatever path seems right.

What's Your Travel Personality?

Let's face it, we all need to make some long-term goals in our life. Working towards a degree, publication, a dream job, or whatever is all very well and good. Probably better than not planning for those things, but slogging towards a masters degree is not something that makes your blood fizz with excitement. More like... knees knock in dread of another round of reports and finals.

So today, for your workout, plan your dream vacation.

- Where are you going?
- Who will you take?
- What time of year will you go?
- How much will it cost?
- How long will it take you to save an earn for your trip?

I am dying to get back to the beach! I miss the sand and surf. I miss the smell of coconut oil. And I'd love to hit Orlando, FL again and show my kids Sea World.

For a family of five (and it better be five by now... I'm writing this before Baby Boy's arrival but by the time this posts he ought to be here), with hotels ect ect ect we're looking at an easy $1000 a day. If we head down over the winter holidays, maybe a 3-day weekend in January would work? That or mid-March? So... say $4000 to cover the cost of driving down, food, and hotels plus goodies for the kids.

That would mean saving $1000 a month to go this year $250 a month to go next year. Hmmmm.... this may be a long term goal. But I bet I could convince my kids to save for it if I throw in a visit to Disney and the zoo.

Where are you headed?

To Plan for War

The BBC announced over the weekend that a new website is coming online with details about medieval battle plans, payments, knightings, and medical records:

The detailed service records of 250,000 medieval soldiers - including archers who served with Henry V at the Battle of Agincourt - have gone online.

The database of those who fought in the Hundred Years War reveals salaries, sickness records and who was knighted.

The full profiles of soldiers from 1369 to 1453 will allow researchers to piece together details of their lives.

Thomas, Lord Despenser is the youngest soldier on the database, whose career began when he was aged just 12 in 1385.

Elsewhere, the career of Thomas Gloucestre, who fought at Agincourt, can be traced over 43 years and includes campaigns in Prussia and Jerusalem.

From BBC online.

I checked out the website and it's still in the early stages, but it looks like this could be a fun resource for anyone writing a battle. It can add authenticity to fantasy works and anyone writing sci-fi battles can look at it with an eye to collecting tactical information.

Not to mention all the fabulous story ideas!

Wednesday Workout:

Get your resources lined up.

What are you using for references? Where did you find information? Do you need to cite sources in text?

It's far better to have all these details saved and ready when an agent or editor asks than go scrambling to prove a fact or to prove you aren't plagiarizing anyone.

Platform

What is a platform?
a) a shoe
b) something you stand on during a big band concert
c) something every author needs


Answer: C

Agents have ranted and raved about this. Editors have ranted and raved about this. Authors have ranted and raved about this.

The fact is, you can't be a recluse. Not every author can afford to take their book for a six month international tour. But every author can, and should, have a presence online.

HOMEWORK: Read this quick article on building your brand, and then leave me a note with a link to your blog, website, or Twitter account.

If you don't have any of those. Go start one and then leave a comment.

Reading Time!

HOMEWORK:

Because you aren't busy enough...

This week you just have a quick reading assingment and a little pop quiz.

Reading 1: Doin It Backwards

Reading 2: YOUR Platform


And then do this quick quiz:

1. Why do people need my book (as opposed to the thousands that already line the shelves?) What makes my idea unique? (Everyone must be able to answer this.)

2. Why must I be the one to write this book? What about my background or experience makes me the only one who can write this? (This is particularly important for nonfiction writers.)

3. What do I do really well? (Go ahead and list everything you can think of here, even if it doesn’t seem relevant.)

4. How much time and energy am I willing to commit to building this platform? (e.g. I will blog three times a week on my book topic, every week)

5. What would I like my platform to look like in a year? (e.g. my blog will have 1000 subscribers)

Gaining Perspective

Sunday, Father's Day, I had a chance to sit and talk with a gentleman who has outlived his wife of 63 years, all of his children, and several of his grandchildren. He parachuted into Normandy on D-Day, and spent most his life working in fields and on cars in rural Alabama.


You know what he remembers about D-Day? Apple trees.

Odd, but there you have it. He was dropped into an apple orchard and got lost because his compass slipped out of his pocket on the way out of the plane.

I didn't know there were apple orchards near the fighting. It's not something I would have picked up in a text book, or even from my relatives who survived the wars because they were too young to remember the details.

This older man offers a valuable change in perspective. A welcome change even.

How often in our writing do we remember to change perspective for age?

It's easy to forget that when write. We tend to give our characters a blanket view of history and politics because, after all, we are only one person and there is only so much we can think of.



HOMEWORK: Go find someone well out of your age bracket and get them to talk. Pick any subject, wars, the cost of gasoline, brands of candy, schoolwork... and see if they can't give you some ideas on how to give your writing some added depth.



P.S. The little girl in the black and white photo is the old woman in the second photo. That's my DH's Grandma Dusty: mother of two, grandmother of three, great-grandmother to three when she died two years ago.

She was a navy wife, a member of the Royal Order of the Gecko, and a survivor. She survived the death of her brother in his teens, her parents when she was a young parent, and a few wars and deployments to odd places while she was at it.