Two Easy-to-Catch Writer's Diseases
Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Many thanks to the talented Debbie Ridpath Ohi for having the perfect comic for this post.

<--- See Eliza? Poor Eliza.

And, yet, so many writers wind up just like Eliza. Paralyzed with fear and unable to move on. It's a disease. It is communal. And, in honor of the holiday flu season, I've decided to post a quick public service message about these nasty viruses and how to avoid them this winter.

Isuckitis
Symptoms: depression, fear of writing, avoidance of manuscript, reluctance to share work with others, excuse making

Sounds: Victims of this disease may make odd gasping sounds that sound like: "I'm no good." "I can't write." "No one will read this." "I'm a failure." "Why did I think I could write?" "I should burn this manuscript." or sobbing. Do not be alarmed. This is caused by bile and sour stomach and can easily be remedied.

Transmission Vector: Isuckitis is often caught via rejection letter, harsh crits, writing groups, or success stories of other authors. Some people become carriers for the disease. We call carriers Mean People.

Cure: *NOTE* The patient should be heavily dosed with appropriate sedative (writing cookies, chocolate, mint ice cream, or a nice dinner out) before the Writing Spine is reset.

Those assisting the patient should make every effort to encourage the victim by accentuating the positive aspects of their writing. If this is a mild case where the patient is trying an at-home remedy science recommends a list of things the patient does well. For extreme cases writing therapy with a group led by someone who knows how to use a comma is recommended.

Recovery: Minor cases of Isuckitis usually bounce back to full writing skills within a few days. A minor slump usually leads to a burst of sustained activity and full recovery.

Severe cases of Isuckitis that have prevented the patient from writing for a prolonged period of time will be slower to recover. In these cases it is suggested that the patient start with short stories to regain old writing habits and to consider writing marathons such as NaNoWriMo where the goal is volume and endurance rather than perfection.

Warning: Victims of Isuckitis are prone to relapse under extreme stress. Any writer who has recovered from severe Isuckitis should engage a cheerleader and optimistic Alpha-Reader to support them during the editing and querying process. Such cheerleaders can be readily found in most writing groups and on Twitter under #amwritingparty



Igottaedititis
*NOTE* Although Igottaedititis is similar to a Polishingfrenzy or Fearofsuccess it is not the same disease. Igottaedititis is only found in the early stages of manuscript creation. If you see these symptoms in a patient who is past their fifth draft it is not Igottaedititis.

Symptoms: continuous outlining, continuous revision of outline, continually referring to outline once the writing has started, refusal to move past a certain chapter, continuous rewriting of a single chapter, abuse of the delete key

Sounds: Victim may make low growling sounds and viciously hit the keyboard while writing. In the advanced stages of Igottaedititis the victim may mutter things like: "It's not working." "I've got to fix this scene." "I can't move on until this is right." "That first page doesn't fit."

Transmission Vector: It is hypothesized that there is a carrying vector involved for Igottaedititis but recent studies suggest that susceptibility to the disease has a genetic cause. Perfectionist are prone to suffer from this disease.

Cure: In most cases the appropriate cure for Igottaedititis is a timely reminder that the patient needs to Keep Writing. Patients must be reminded that the important part of a rouch draft is to finish the rough draft. Once the victim is able to put the chapter into proper perspective they are usually able to finish the draft with very little assitance.

Recovery: Mild cases of the disease stem start when the patient becomes stuck in the writing-editing-rewriting cycle and is unable to bring the rewrites up to an acceptable level of writing.

In severe cases where the patient refuses to acknolwedge the problem the recommended treatment is Diversion and Redirection. First, divert the patient to another project or (in extreme cases) non-writing tasks. When the patient has broken out of the writing-editing-rewriting cycle you may reintroduce the manuscript with the offending chapter removed for the patients safety. Remember to keep the stolen chapter safe for surgical reintroduction later in the editing process.

Warning: Victims of Igottaedititis may relapse during bouts of Isuckitis. In these cases, Igottaedititis is a secondary infection and the primary disease should be treated first.

Posted byLiana Brooks at 9:39 AM 7 Writers With Opinions  

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Friday Random? What Friday Random?
Saturday, November 21, 2009

Random where was I Friday? Going crazy! We were at an early Thanksgiving dinner and I completely forgot the Friday post I owed all of you. Sorry!


Random where was I Saturday? In Atlanta, GA picking up a new puppy for my pack. I like big dogs. Really big dogs. So when someone told me they'd found another boerboel in need of a home (we already have one) we went to visit.

Isn't he an adorable puppy? At 20 months he's semi-trained and only 113 pounds. He'll add another 50-100 pounds easily in the next year or two. He's seems so small right now.

Achilles was abandoned at a vet clinic in Atlanta for eight months. EIGHT! That's just cruel. Now he has an acre lot to run on and he's loving it!



Random NaNo progress this week: Slow.

I was hitting 3k on a daily basis and this week RL just kept tripping me up. I did manage to add another 1.2k in the car while we were driving to Atlanta today. I have about 8k to break the NaNo goal and another 30k to finish the novel. If I can wrap it up.

The first 30k of the NaNo novel probably need to be chopped and either framed as it's own novel, or parsed into a novella. I haven't decided.



Random comment on the whole Harlequin/Self-Pub madness: I think RWA, SFFWA, and MWA are doing the right thing by telling Harlequin that they can either be a respected publisher, or they can be big fat liars. I don't think a respectable publisher and have the kind of advertising Harlequin put out for their Horizons self-published line.

I feel bad for the authors already published under the Harlequin imprint. This isn't fair to them. And, to be fair, I think the RWA should allow author's published before the announcement to compete in the next round of RITA awards. But only this once because those authors were blindsided too.

I feel horrible for the poor author who is struggling to make ends meet who tripped over the Harlequin Horizons website today and decided to spend their Christmas budget on paying for a self-published novel because the website suggests that the next step to publication after writing is to self-publish.

Not edit. Not find a critique group. Not query. Not submit. SELF-PUBLISH.

For making new authors cry Harlequin gets the #epicfail award of the day. It was a bad choice. It's a bad plan. And even if Harlequin backs down and apologizes this is going to haunt them. I don't regularly buy Harlequin novels. I won't touch them now. I don't care who wrote them or how good they are, I don't support this abuse of authors, new or old.

How you feel about it is, of course, up to you.

(Image of Harley Quinn from the Batman series is courtesy of CrunchGear and copyrighted to the artist and original creator. Used with thanks.)


So..... What's your random?

Posted byLiana Brooks at 4:42 PM 4 Writers With Opinions  

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Landino14 (guest character appearance)
Thursday, November 19, 2009

landino14 said...

Here's my entry!
Meet Ashton Cairnes, retired Special ops now bodyguard for hire. Special skills-weapons, telekinesis.
Weakness-a pretty face.
Good luck!



Oh, the things I can do with a womanizing ex-special ops boy...

I had to tweak Landino14's original character sub because there isn't a true Special Ops force in the book. I'm writing an urban fantasy world that's more fantasy than it is urban. All the magic, all the tech, all the fun! Woohoo! I love combining genres.

And, since my FMC is a cop, finding a special ops/bodyguard character nearby wasn't hard at all. I needed some names for a back up call to bag a demon and Cairnes went along for the ride. The man darn near stole the show! I wanted a basic tough-guy for back up and wound up with a character that, in my head, is very charasmatic. He's a bit of grit, a bit of bite, a lot of muscle, and enough brains to keep out of too much trouble. He's also a bit of a womanizer.

"Sari!" Battlemage and detective Ashton Cairnes held a hand up, his magic held up a swirling tornado of bricks keeping a Carf demon trapped less than fifty yards away.

Like Sari, Cairnes was on retainer with the Vondrin PD as what they liked to call a "Specials". He was a retired fighter, former strike team leader in on of the southern republics, and a minor hero of a one-horse city-state back in the foothills. He'd retired to Vondrin for the woman, he said. And the ale, of course. But a few weeks of retirement and Cairnes found himself a nice serial killer to stalk out of boredom.

The chief of the Vondrin PD, Aims Damen, didn't like people to have that kind of hobby. So Cairnes was recruited at sword point. As battlemages went, he wasn't overly impressive, minor levitation spells were the extent of his repertoire. But it wasn't the size of the spell that mattered, or so he said.

"About time, Sari! What'd you do? Stop to powder your nose?" A tail of roan hair held back by a leather thong whipped past Sari's face as Cairnes dodged a fireball from the Carf demon. Cairnes gave her a baleful look as he pulled out his trademark double long knives. A whip slapped his thigh. "Cute shirt."


And... there's Cairnes. A minor character with a lot of attitude, and a lot of screen time. Good news! I think he might live to the end of the book (unlike all the major characters).

P.S. I'm still looking for minor character to add spice to life. Anyone want to be a paladin or a demon?

P.S.S. Inky, do you see some familiar names up there? "She aims. She shoots. She scores!"

Posted byLiana Brooks at 12:22 PM 4 Writers With Opinions  

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