Running From Zombies Saved My Life

And water is wet...

I know , the title is painfully obvious. Running from zombies is the sort of thing you should always run away from when running is an option.

So maybe it's better to say that running from zombies saved my sanity. The little app with a fake radio broadcast from my good friends at Able Township (plus Runner 8 who wants to kill me) make me get to the gym and run.

Not daily, because I'm not there yet, but the chance to run from zombies has lured me back often enough that I ran my first 5k today. A whole 3.2 miles on the treadmill running from zombies. There may have been a shambling half mile in the middle, but I ran a good portion and walked the rest at a reasonable speed. It wasn't fast, but it's the first time since grade school I've run that far. 

Should you ever see me in the gym, I'll apologize in advance, I've been known to argue with Sam as I run. "I have a baseball bat, can't I just hit them?"

Today I threatened to strangle someone with a pair of trousers which caused the elderly gentleman running next to me considerable alarm. I was apologetic, but I still would have been happier it I could have attacked Runner 8.

Even More Awkward Than An Out Of Context Tweet!

The gym's daycare was full so I decided to skip out on weight lifting and hit the park where there's a walking trail around the duck pond. Bunny gets to watch the ducks, I get to speed walk and catch up with my friends at Able Township.

Once again I thought Runner 8 was going to kill me. She's a scary lady!

I wasn't planning on running this morning so I didn't have my headphones with me, which meant anyone walking past could hear the transmissions. This wasn't much of a problem, there were only a handful of people on a trail that's nearly two miles long, and the ducks are loud. I figured we were safe.

Until I came up behind a speed walker and my phone said, "Collected a pack of underwear."

The old man looked at me.

"I'm running from zombies!" I blurted out.

He looked behind us at a pair of white ducks who were sleeping peacefully under a pine tree. The zombies were noticeable in their absence.

"It's for a game," I tried to explain, only making the situation slightly worse. "I walk and pick up things for my fiction town..."

The old man glared me into silence.

"It makes me walk more," was my weak (and grammatically awkward) defense.

Overheard zombie runs are even more awkward than out of context tweets. They really are.

Now someone explain why there are packs of underwear lying all over town! What happened?
-Runner 5

This Little Runner Goes To Boot Camp

... but not really.

I'm a people person, an extrovert, one of those people who will wheedle your life story out of you if you make eye contact. It's true. For all my hardcore author looks I've developed from the years if my book is like HARRY POTTER or TWILIGHT (wrong genre!) I'm still interested in social interaction. People have stories, and I like stories.

Which is why I love the Zombie Run App (Talk to me, Sam!) and why I hate working out alone.

Also, there was frost on the ground this morning. I'm not sure how often you read my blog or my tweets, but if my choice was be torn limb from limb by zombies for walk outside in a t-shirt and jeans in anything below 60 Fahrenheit, I'd choose the zombies. I have nothing kind to say about the cold. Ever.

So I asked around (which is what you do when nothing in your town has a website) and found out that the Y now offers childcare. Woot! I rushed over Wednesday, signed the kiddos up, and I've hit the gym three days in a row!

I HURT!!!

Do you know how out of shape you can get when you've had a pregnancy, a c-section, and nine months of being lazy? Very, very out of shape. I couldn't make it through the yogalates class. Fifty-five minutes of stretching and basic body movement and my hamstrings wanted to quit after three. Hopefully I'll be able to make it through the full class in a few months and then start adding more weight in the weight lifting class.

So what about zombie runs? I'm still doing those on the weekends and probably on the treadmill on Monday's (but not this Monday because it's a school holiday). I might even get up to a good speed if I don't freeze to death this weekend. I mean, seriously? Who needs winter? Send it to the people who like this mess! I don't. There are not enough sweaters in the world to handle FROST.

Runner 8 is going to eat me!

Sam! Sam! Do you read my blog? This is Runner 5, and I think Runner 8 is out to get me. Do not - I repeat DO NOT - leave me alone with that woman ever again!


... I ran this week. Actual running instead of lazily walking and deciding that  I didn't care if the zombies ate my underwear.

For those who don't run with this app, that's not a dirty statement, you collect a lot of underwear. Maybe the zombies are naked, who knows?

They did snatch a cute red thong from me, and a bottle of water, but I ran! Yay!

Can I have my weekend now?

Are You A Working Mom?

A friend stopped by Thursday night with fried chicken because I was "looking peckish" the last time she saw me. It was super sweet of her, dinner was nice, and it was great to have another adult to talk to since most my dinner time conversation revolves around Junie B. Jones and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I enjoy the occasional break from fine literature to talk about adult things, like cars and kids... I may have failed Adult Subjects 101.

What did spark a conversation was a copy of Working Mom magazine sitting on my counter. My friend frowned at it. "I didn't know you worked."

"Well, yes, I write. It's working from home, but still..." I withered.

"That's just a hobby, isn't it? I mean, you're not writing real books."

Everyone as a group now: SIGH

Of course it's not a real book! Silly me. I only wrote those books, and edited them, and shopped them to editors, and sold them. But it's not on dead paper, so I guess I'm just playing pretend. Once more with feeling: SIGH.

For what it's worth, I consider myself a Working Mom. I've debated the title for years now, and I'm finally at the point where I feel that - yes - I work. I devote six to eight hours a day to writing, promoting, researching, and editing for books. Most weeks I have enough hours to call this a full time job.

Granted, I'm not earning anything like minimum wage yet, but I still earn more than I do with my other full time job, Momming.

I don't know if other authors consider themselves working moms (or dads or non-parents) though. I know many authors write 5-8 hours around a full work schedule. I've met authors who held down jobs, went to university, and still managed to write some how. I didn't write in college, not fiction at any rate, my brain was too fried for anything creative.

And I don't think there's a defined point when you switch from being a "hobby writer" to "working author". I know authors who still consider it a hobby after publishing six books, and I know authors who consider themselves full time working authors without having published ever. I support that idea, it shows a drive and determination. But then again... sometimes there's sense behind seeing writing as a casual hobby. Your world won't crash and burn if you don't meet all your hobby goals. If writing, or anything for that matter, is the be all and end all of your world there's a sense of disproportion and imbalance.

Maybe it doesn't matter what you call yourself as long as your happy?

... Did I have a point to this post? Oh, yes... I was working this week and didn't run from zombies. Two weeks in a row slacking! >.< Sorry. I'm failing Able Township here. I'm writing this post Thursday night with every intention of running on Friday. Feel free to poke me on Twitter. If I'm not writing, I'm hanging with the Tweeps as @LianaBrooks.

Patient Zero

In every zombie apocalypse scenario there is a Patient Zero, the first person to be taken down by the zombie plague and turned. Before Patient Zero's loved ones could find a sawed off shotgun and end the zombie menace, they were bitten and the world fell into chaos. It's a sad, sad tale.

This week the role of Patient Zero was played by Bug, my three-yer-old son. Based on observational evidence, Bug has no immune system. Any crud, plague, cold, or bug going around town will knock him out. Everyone else sneezes for a day, he has a week long fever and head cold.

Meet Patient Zero

What I'm trying to say here is that I didn't run this week. At all. I Mommed. I ran a plague ward. I washed unreasonable amounts of laundry. I won't bore you with the details, just use your imagination.

Bug is now on the mend, he's been fever-free for twenty-four hours. I have high hopes that I might be able to run a mission this afternoon, although the new Zombie 5k training app isn't available for Android yet (curses! foiled again!), which means I don't get to try that yet.

How has your week been?
- Liana

Dog Of The Undead

I've decided that, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, Dog is on his own.

I did my three runs this week. It was good, and I was averaging a little over two miles per run, so I figured I'd invite Dog along for the third outing of the week. He's been antsy and I thought a jog/walk would help him burn energy.

Nope. Not happening. Every time the zombies came towards us Dog sat down and watched my ear phones expectantly. I think he wants to see me be eaten by zombies. I know he walks under spider webs just because he likes watching me scream and pull webs off me when we walk at night.

Maybe Dog has a plan?

Or maybe Dog is just lazy. Audio zombies don't have a smell, and so they aren't as interesting as things like squirrels, lizards, deer, and the coyote that decided to run across the back pasture last Friday. There's probably a wonderful lesson about focusing on the real threats instead of the imaginary tied up in this, but for the time being it's over my head.

All I know is that I need to get the wifi fixed so I can download the audio files for the supply missions. For some reason those won't download with my regular internet. Ah, such is the Tech Fail.

- Not Dead Yet

Some Days You're The Runner, Some Days You're The Lurching Undead

It's so cute when I set big goals like run every other day. Absolutely adorable. I get a good laugh out of Past Me's naive optimism.

Even with the best of intentions, there are days life kicks you in the butt. There are days you are the runner defending Able Township, and there are days you are the lurching, shuffling undead in search of brains and possibly help for your query letter. This was one of those weeks where i was the shuffling undead, at least when it came to excercise.

As of posting this Friday morning I have run one mission, Thursday afternoon, I went out with Runner 8. The first thing I picked up was an axe, and I was glad. I was pretty sure Runner 8 was ten seconds away from falling prey to zombies and turning on me the entire run. Really, she frightens me.

The run itself started out fine. Everything starts out fine. Books, query letters, running from zombies... By the second lap I was feeling pretty confident. No worries. By the third I was wondering if I was done. By lap seven I was shaking and ready to let the zombies eat me, Runner 8 and New Canton be [pick a verb]-ed.

I feel the same way about books this week, at least my books. EVERY HERO NEEDS A VILLAIN in particular. I was so close to finishing it Monday I could taste it. The words were flowing, everything was just fine. On Tuesday I felt like I was queen of the world. This morning I finished the draft and was ready to burn the whole thing, write writing off as a failed experiment and take up scorpion petting as a hobby. It would be so much less traumatizing.

Days like this, I keep writing for the same reason I keep running, someone else is counting on me. Granted, it's a cheap psychological trick, but it works. I keep trying to perfect my books because I want you - my reader - to have the best.

I was hoping the end of September would bring a new contract and a release date for EVERY HERO NEEDS A VILLAIN. Instead, I scrapped the book I spent all summer on and did something completely different. With a little polishing I hope it will be something you love. If it isn't, well, I have something else in the works for you. Shhh! It's still a secret!

Have a wonderful weekend!
-Liana

I Am Runner 5

I hate running. At age six when my choices were Run or Get Kicked By The Neighborhood Bully I had a Nike imprint in my hip for a week. Science says everyone has a Flight or Fight response in them, and my genes are locked in FIGHT MODE.

I do like working out. Swimming, weight lifting, yoga, dancing... I love them all. As I try to get back in shape after my c-section in January I've, um how do I put this... I've failed. A lot. Repeatedly. With everything. It's just been one whole lump of FAIL every single time I start a new workout program.

Part of it is the c-section itself. Pregnancy is hard enough to recover form, but a c-section is a whole new level of pain. Instead of bouncing back to my old self when the baby was five days old, I was still in the hospital. Instead of feeling Mostly Human by the time baby was three months old, I was still in maternity jeans. Baby is eight months old next week, and there are still days where anything touching the c-section scar causes burning pain. That's what happens when someone slices your guts open, sticks their hands in there, pulls things out, cauterizes blood vessels, and then stitches you up.

Gut wounds hurt, people! Don't let the heroes in fantasy books who walk around with gut shot fool you, they're the walking dead.

Which leads me (by a very circuitous route) to zombies and running. Most of my work out plans failed because there really isn't a way to do them in the rural area where I live. There isn't a lap pool nearby, there isn't a yoga studio, or gym. Working out at home has a whole set of complications ranging from rented wood floors (no weights!) to kids (you do downward dog with someone trying to climb you!).

I finally decided that I could run. I planned on doing the Couch to 5k program and working my way up slowly with measurable goals. Except, I HATE RUNNING! With a passion. With the fiery rage of a thousand suns I hate running! It's boring. Even with music it's not fun. Running to an audio book slows you down. Running is not something I could get my butt out the door for.

Enter the zombies...

I heard about the Zombies Run! game through Kickstarter, of all places. At the time it wasn't available for the phone I use, but the idea of running to a story and playing a game at the same time intrigued me. The psychology behind this is actually very well thought out.

First, the game is a game with predictable patterns. The longer you run, the more objects you pick up, and the more you can build up your little computer town. It's like Farmville, only not stupid and not involving farms (I don't understand Farmville - sorry). But the game aspects appeal to the geek in me. I  like games, I just don't like wasting time. Now I can get excercise and play a game. WOOT!

Second,  I'm a very verbal person, I love verbal praise, Kind Words is my primary love language. Guess what? The people on my phone like me! The little dopamine boost is amazing. "Great job, Runner Five!" should not be the highlight of my day, but there are days where the radio guy from Able Township is the only person who says something nice to me. Logically, I know he's a recorded voice from across the pond, but that doesn't matter to dopamine!

Third, have you ever heard of Loss Aversion? It's the theory that people hate giving up what they have, it's why it's so hard to leave that bad boyfriend, get rid of a broken piece of tech, or change jobs. We're afraid of losing what we're holding, even if there's a chance we'll get something better. When running for the game you pick up items for your town (I am the world champion underwear collector) and when the zombies catch you, you have to drop items to distract them. I won't run from bullies, but I will run to protect imaginary underwear. Go figure. Loss Aversion in practice!

Four, the story only unlocks if you run. I'm a sucker for a good story. I love to read. And I can't get the rest of the story until I run. Who fired the rocket launcher? Where do zombies come from? How did the old Runner 5 die? I need to know these things! So I will run.

Five, Zombies are really good at scaring me, especially at twilight. I run laps around the property in the evenings, it's just under a quarter mile per lap and I usually run in the evenings. One earbud is in listening for the radio broadcasts and zombies, the other is out while I listen for my neighborhood bear and rattlesnakes. I don't have music on my phone so I run in silence, just me, the sound of my shoes crunching twigs, the lone call of a bird... and the moaning of zombies coming to eat my brains. Sometimes, there are spider webs in my running path. There's a patch of my yard I won't go near after dark because I'm afraid zombies will jump out of the bushes.

Anyways, I have a new hobby-slash-workout-regime-slash-blog-topic. My goal is to run three missions a week. I'm starting slow, walking speed in fact. I'm really out of shape. I've done a run with zombies once, and thought I was going to die, so I'll probably run the missions first, and then turn on the zombie attacks and interval training later.

If you want to join me, the Zombies Run Game App is here for iPhone, Android, and Windows smartphones. This is not a paid ad, they didn't bribe me to write this blog post and they don't sponsor me. Like other things I love, I'm sharing because it interests me. I will update you next Friday with my mission progress.

Have a fabulous weekend!
Liana