My Dog Has Terminal Testosterone Poisoning

This is my dog. He's male, and the skaterboi idiot of mastiffs. Today, he broke his leg.

It's not hard to get hurt when you're a dog in Alaska. There are moose, polar bears, buffalo, avalanches, and all sorts of other creative ways to get trampled, eaten, or squished. But Dog is special. He didn't break himself wrangling with a bull moose in the front yard (not for lack of trying mind you). No, Dog broke his leg jumping after a toy.

Oh! you think. The puppy was playing fetch! How cute!

No. Not even close. The 8-year-old Dog who should have known better flipped his own toy up in the air and jumped up to catch it because he was trying to show off for the 3yo human who gives him cookies for being cute.

Dog landed wrong and now has a spiral fracture where his left femur should be.

And Dog did this three minutes before I was supposed to leave to drive Eldest to school. I made Dog comfortably, ran kiddo to middle school, got home and tried to figure out how to load a broken puppy into a van with three kids who needed to get to the grade school.

Let me tell you, owning a mastiff is an excellent reason to take up weight lifting. Dog weighs 144lbs (as of this morning's weigh in) and with a broken back leg he could neither walk down the stairs (we finally got him to slide) or climb into the car (it took thirty minutes, using my 10yo as a stepping stone, and some heavy lifting to get him in the car).

The first set of x-rays were not encouraging. There were shadows. Hints that maybe the leg broke because there was another underlying illness we weren't aware of. The vet grilled me about Dog's behavior and eating habits. Had he limped before? Was he acting odd? Did we think he might have cancer?

And then the vet went into five hours of radio silence which were the worst in recent memory.

Finally, several hours and many x-rays and I really don't want to know how many dollars later, Dog was cleared of cancer worries.

He is spending the night at the vet's office, doped to his little puppy gills and awaiting surgery. He needs a pin and a plate put in to stabilize his leg. We're looking at 6-8 weeks of physical therapy and carrying Dog up and down stairs. Not to mention the fun of finding a surgeon in town capable of operating on a dog this big. I'm seriously tempted to give the local human hospital a call. Or see who works on ponies.

The thing is... Dog is no longer insured. The pet insurance company we had doesn't provide service in Alaska, only the Lower 48, which sucks. I miss pet insurance. If you live in a place where you can get pet insurance I highly recommend you fit it into the monthly budget so your dog doesn't do stupid tricks to impress girls with cookies and break his leg. Well, okay, having insurance might not have stopped Dog from having a one-track male mind focused only on getting treats, but it would have made this week a whole lot less expensive.

Insure your pets (and spay, neuter, and microchip them too.... and don't forget vaccines).

Wednesday is Dog's surgery and I'd love any good vibes, healing thoughts, or prayers you'd like to send our way. We're going to need them.

ETA: The vet is putting the final bill with surgery at $4700 plus tax if there are no complications. With complications... let's just hope there are no complications. I've started a GoFundMe for anyone who has all my books and would like to help out. 

Dog Update: DOG IS HOME!!!!

I have the best possible news for a Thursday evening: DOG IS HOME!

After his long delay in Kansas waiting for the weather to break Dog was finally able to get on the plane Wednesday evening. We were very lucky that an old friend from Texas who had recently moved to Kansas saw the blog post and was able to take Dog to her home (and get pictures of him holding still!). He stayed with their family for the better part of two weeks and, after a long layover in Minneapolis, is finally home!

I tried taking pictures but he won't hold still. He's bouncing everywhere, running between kids and parents, sniffing all over the house, and looks like he's in doggy heaven.

As a rescue dog the fear of abandonment is well ingrained. Even a week at the kennel is scary for my giant puppy, so you can imagine what was going through his poor doggy mind when we vanished and he went to multiple families and kennels trying to get back to us.

Now all that worry is behind us and all I have to do is keep Dog from trying to play with the moose. :)

Thank you to everyone for your well wishes, prayers, and support while our family was separated. You really are the most wonderful people. <3

Doggy Update!

Thank you so much to everyone who offered support, emotional and otherwise. Several people reached out trying to find a safe place for Dog to stay, and happily someone in Kansas was able to take him in.

The plan is still to fly Dog to Alaska. According to weather.gov, which is what the airlines use to determine whether pets can fly, next week doesn't look promising. The Farmer's Almanac says the 13th of January is promising.

For now, Dog is staying with another Kansas family with two boys, a boxer, and plenty of peanut butter for his kong chew toy.
It seems like such a silly thing, fussing over an animal whose life span will realistically be over in less than a decade. I don't call my pets furbabies because I have kids and I feel there's a difference between my pet and my children. And I still worry for him. I hate putting Dog in a kennel because I know he'll be upset, scared, and hurt.

The Kansas family says he was a little cautious at first, but warmed up quickly to the kids and is acting clingy. Typical Dog behavior after a trip to a kennel, in my mind. He'll probably sleep under somebody's bed tonight.

To everyone else: THANK YOU.

Thank you for your support. Thank you for the emails. Thank you for the retweets. Thank you for the prayers. Thank you for the well wishes. Thank you to those amazing individuals who helped us pay the kennel fees. Thank you for being the kind of people I can go to with a problem knowing I will get support and love. You're all wonderful, fantastic, beautiful people.

The Situation With Dog

Several of you have asked how Dog, our six-year-old South African Boerboel and rescue pup, likes Alaska. This is a very difficult question to answer because our beloved pillow thief has not yet arrived in Alaska.

Dog is a mastiff, and he's traveling in a size 700 cargo kennel (and XL kennel) that very few planes can carry. Delta is the only airline that will fly kennels that size to Alaska, and they route all their cargo planes through Minneapolis, Minnesota. The problem is that pets cannot fly unless the temperature is above 10 degrees Fahrenheit. And Minneapolis is experiencing a cold snap.

Originally, Dog was staying with our neighbors who have a fenced yard and two little boys who love dogs. He wasn't with us, but he was with people who loved him and spoiled him. But then they got surprise tickets to Florida for New Year's Eve. Do I blame them for going? Not at all! I'd love to have gone with them.

But it meant that Dog had to go to a kennel.

For those who weren't following the blog back in 2009 when we first rescued Dog (then named Achilles), he was abandoned at age 8 months and left there until he was 20 months old. Locked in a kennel that fit him as a small puppy but was too cramped for his adult frame. He cowered when people came near, ran in fear at the sound of his name, and didn't know how to walk when we rescued him. The first time we took him outside he came back with bloody paws because he dragged his feet when walking. It was horrifying.

Since then we've done everything possible to keep Dog out of kennels. He didn't even have a travel kennel until November when we bought the one needed for the airport. And now he's stuck in one indefinitely. He can't fly out until the weather changes, and I'm not sure when my friend is getting home from her vacation or if she'll be willing to turn the six day stay we agreed on to a possibly long-term situation as we wait for a break in the weather.

The kennel is happy to keep him, but they're charging $30 a day. Not a bad fee when we were looking at a few nights before he flew out, but it's not something we can afford for more than a week or two. In a few days the kennel fees will start cutting into the money set aside for Dog's flight ($1575 is the cost in case you're curious), and once that happens I need to do some creative budgeting to fly him up to us. Eventually.

Logistically, this is a nightmare. There's far too many limitations. The weather in Kansas City and Minneapolis has to be perfect. The pet facilities are closed on weekends and holidays, so the weather needs to be perfect Monday through Thursday, not Friday through Sunday. Dog needs a vet inspection within 10 days of flying, the one he received before we left expires Sunday and needs to be redone. Cash is tight until hubby gets his first paycheck up here on February 1st. It's just the perfect storm of bad.

What can you do to help?

Well, unless you can control the weather or live in Kansas City and want to dogsit a giant dog, not much. If you do control the weather, call me. We can work out a payment plan.

For everyone else: prayers, good vibes, well wishes, and positive thoughts about a warm spell in Kansas and Minnesota are appreciated. Or, because I am kind of desperate, you could go buy more books or donate directly to the Get Dog To Alaska fund.

Dog is going to love Alaska. We just need to get him home. :)