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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

My Dog Has Terminal Testosterone Poisoning

This is my dog. He's male, and the skaterboi idiot of mastiffs. Today, he broke his leg.

It's not hard to get hurt when you're a dog in Alaska. There are moose, polar bears, buffalo, avalanches, and all sorts of other creative ways to get trampled, eaten, or squished. But Dog is special. He didn't break himself wrangling with a bull moose in the front yard (not for lack of trying mind you). No, Dog broke his leg jumping after a toy.

Oh! you think. The puppy was playing fetch! How cute!

No. Not even close. The 8-year-old Dog who should have known better flipped his own toy up in the air and jumped up to catch it because he was trying to show off for the 3yo human who gives him cookies for being cute.

Dog landed wrong and now has a spiral fracture where his left femur should be.

And Dog did this three minutes before I was supposed to leave to drive Eldest to school. I made Dog comfortably, ran kiddo to middle school, got home and tried to figure out how to load a broken puppy into a van with three kids who needed to get to the grade school.

Let me tell you, owning a mastiff is an excellent reason to take up weight lifting. Dog weighs 144lbs (as of this morning's weigh in) and with a broken back leg he could neither walk down the stairs (we finally got him to slide) or climb into the car (it took thirty minutes, using my 10yo as a stepping stone, and some heavy lifting to get him in the car).

The first set of x-rays were not encouraging. There were shadows. Hints that maybe the leg broke because there was another underlying illness we weren't aware of. The vet grilled me about Dog's behavior and eating habits. Had he limped before? Was he acting odd? Did we think he might have cancer?

And then the vet went into five hours of radio silence which were the worst in recent memory.

Finally, several hours and many x-rays and I really don't want to know how many dollars later, Dog was cleared of cancer worries.

He is spending the night at the vet's office, doped to his little puppy gills and awaiting surgery. He needs a pin and a plate put in to stabilize his leg. We're looking at 6-8 weeks of physical therapy and carrying Dog up and down stairs. Not to mention the fun of finding a surgeon in town capable of operating on a dog this big. I'm seriously tempted to give the local human hospital a call. Or see who works on ponies.

The thing is... Dog is no longer insured. The pet insurance company we had doesn't provide service in Alaska, only the Lower 48, which sucks. I miss pet insurance. If you live in a place where you can get pet insurance I highly recommend you fit it into the monthly budget so your dog doesn't do stupid tricks to impress girls with cookies and break his leg. Well, okay, having insurance might not have stopped Dog from having a one-track male mind focused only on getting treats, but it would have made this week a whole lot less expensive.

Insure your pets (and spay, neuter, and microchip them too.... and don't forget vaccines).

Wednesday is Dog's surgery and I'd love any good vibes, healing thoughts, or prayers you'd like to send our way. We're going to need them.

ETA: The vet is putting the final bill with surgery at $4700 plus tax if there are no complications. With complications... let's just hope there are no complications. I've started a GoFundMe for anyone who has all my books and would like to help out. 

1 comment:

  1. Sending all good thoughts to you and Dog and the whole family. It's hard when our loved ones are hurt.