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Monday, February 10, 2014

Is live-tweeting church a sin?*

Church worship service (in most places) is a time of quiet meditation of the Divine. A chance to lift your mind from the gutter of every day worries to focus on something larger and greater than your day-to-day trials. Or, at least that's the theory.

In practice church attendance with small children is more like a rodeo, complete with clown roping.

As the hymns started to play this Sunday my fingers itched for my phone so I could tweet. Not about the sermon (what I heard of it sounded great). Not about some divine inspiration (sorry, I got nothing). Not to preach to anyone (I figure you can find religion on your own if you want it). But I wanted to share the absurdity.

My portion of the service - at the back of the chapel near a door because I'm not so brave or dumb - looked a lot like this.

"Baby Bunny has her cute purse full of cars. Opening hymn and she's ready to race."

"Bug is stuffing mushrooms in his mouth. #Mario #BlueToadToy"

"Bunny just threw a car at an altar boy."

"Bunny is trying to pull Blue Toad out of Bug's mouth."

"Bug ran off. Bunny just bit the head off Princess Peach." 

"Bunny is trying to run up to give the sermon. #BunnyKnowsBest #OutOfTheMouthOfBabes"

"Can you get excommunicated for having loud kids?"

"Out in the hall. Look, it's snowing again. #sigh"

On the bright side, we have a very patient congregation and survived one more Sabboth without getting excommunicated**, asked to go to another congregation, or burnt alive for witchcraft. I guess we'll call it a win.

*This is all tongue-in-cheek parody, mostly of myself and my tendency to tweet about everything all the time. If you aren't cyber-stalking me yet, run on over and me, I'm @LianaBrooks 

** To the best of my knowledge no one has ever been excommunicated from any religion for rowdy kids. Trust me, if someone did, I'd be the first to know. 

*** The art work is Mary Magdalene praying from the Wikimedia commons. Feel free to Google her if you're unfamiliar with her story. 

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