#ContactForm1 { display: none ! important; }

Monday, July 26, 2010

What Not To Do....

Some things are just a Bad Idea. This week, while I'm on quasi-holiday, you'll get the What Not To Do series. I'm hoping this is a Good Idea. Enjoy!

What Not To Do When You Query:

1. Stalk Janet Reid through New York, threatening to throw sno-cones at her if she fails to read your partial.

2. Submit your query in crayon.

3. Write your query on a napkin and tell the agent you'll write the novel once the advance comes in.

4. Quit writing and wait for the money.

5. Spam every literary agent, their mother, and their dog on an endless repeat every two hours for six months straight. Really, that's worse than throwing sno-cones!


  1. I think throwing sno-cones at Janet Reid is a Darwin kind of thing. The people who do it, don't stick around long. ;)

  2. One thing that should be on that list: Threaten to kill one :insert fluffy animal here: per day that they don't ask for a partial.

  3. Amy- Nevertheless, I would pay money to see someone try to hit JR with a sno-cone.

    Shannon - Gasp! Not the Fluffy Animals! (TM) Those must be saved at all cost! I'll definitely read your partial before I let you stab a Fluffy Animal.

  4. Don't forget "Don't be like any of the querying writers on slushpile hell!"

    Those people make me head-desk! xD