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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

12 Things The Kids Of Authors Think Is Normal

1) Talking To Imaginary Friends
- If their parents can spend all of dinner talking about their main character than holding conversations with stuffed animals is totally normal. Chances are your family holds running conversations for inanimate objects and pets.

2) Deadlines and Deadline Diets
- Ginger ale and popcorn are not an acceptable breakfast... unless the author of the house is on a deadline, in which case ginger is good for digestion and popcorn is a whole grain.

3) Role Playing
- Other kids might live in a house where role playing is strictly D&D but if there is an author in the house you've probably had to stage at least one scene. Sometimes it's a simple fight scene, but if you live with a crime writer you've probably been a corpse before.

4) Author Visits Are REALLY Awkward
- The school librarian is *super* excited that a local author is coming to visit and when the author comes they spend five minutes asking you about how classes are going and how your parents are because the local author is also besties with your parents and you have all their books signed and on the main bookshelf in the house.

5) You Have A Lot Of Bookshelves
- In fact, the school library may have called to see if they could borrow some of your books. When you move half the boxes are filled with books. When someone asks you if you've read that book you have definitely read that book... or at least have it on your to-be-read shelf in your room.

6) You Can Always Get Books
- Authors love books. Authors who are parents will happily splurge on that new Shannon Hale book or Captain Underpants or even another set of Harry Potter (because you must have the new covers darnit!) because they love you and they love to see you reading.

7) Lectures In The Car About The Deeper Meaning

- You're sitting there singing along with a pop song and suddenly your author-parent ambushes you and asks what you think the lyrics mean. You will spend the next hour being peppered with questions about how the song reflects the mood of the nation and the influences of classical literature on popular culture.

8) Multiple Copies Of Books
- You weren't joking about a third set of Harry Potter books.

9) Mourning A Fictional Character
- If someone reading a book bursts into tears the entire house will mourn the loss of a beloved fictional friend. Conversations will be muted, voices hushed, someone might wear black. If your parent has just killed a beloved fan-favorite you will have ice cream for dinner.

10) Writing A Book
- You watch a movie about a person who has wanted to write a book and you wonder how hard it could possibly be. Your parent writes a book, your adopted relatives all write books, Auntie/Uncle Literary Agent sells books... you might even be writing a book!

11) Empathy And Sympathy
- It's scientifically proven that readers are better at relationships because reading teaches us empathy. You learn to think like another person and see the world through their eyes. Readers translate the skill of understanding fictional people to understanding real people which means the kid of an author always has a sympathetic ear and someone who wants to understand what they're going through.

12) Loving Books
- You don't grow up with an author and not learn to appreciate the written word. You may not love every genre but you know books, and book readers, make the best friends!

Remember, you can never have enough books. Go treat yourself, and grab a book for a friend too. 


  1. 13. Talking about killing, maiming or mutilating characters is a normal topic of dinnertime conversation, and the more creative and/or gruesome it is, the more enthusiastic the discussion.

    1. ... I confess, this happens a lot. The Book Of Poisons has even been pulled out at the dinner table before.