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Monday, May 19, 2008

For the first victim...

This is the entry for Miss Snark's First Victim, Authoress. From my current WIP, DoJ:

The darkness was absolute.

He coughed, his ribs screamed in protest. He tasted blood in his mouth, moved his hand to wipe his chin and screamed out loud.

“Hello? Someone alive in there?”

“I’m here,” he mouthed the words. Bracing against the pain he breathed in, gathered his strength. “I’m here!”

“There’s a survivor!” a new voice said.

He heard metal scrapping against metal. Someone cursed. Light burst in, blinding his eyes.

“I’m alive.”

The light traveled down his wrecked body as the rescuers surveyed the damage .In the light he could see jagged hull fragments slicing into his side, making his lungs bleed. His legs were crushed under the control console. Both arms were pinned by debris. “Get me out. Take to the Felinium. I’ll survive.”

Another light joined the first. The man closest to him tugged at a long lock of dark hair as he chewed his lip. “See, the problem here is money.”

“I’ll pay you.”

Lip-Chewer shook his head slowly. “No, you see, we need salvage. Nothing personal, just business.”

His body burned, the light spun as cooling blood slid onto his neck. “It’s yours. Save me.”

“Can’t do it.” Lip-Chewer turned to his companion. “Official record of crash sight, pilot found dead under command console.”

“No!” Every breath was a war. “I’m alive!”

“Yea, for now,” Lip-Chewer agreed, “but you’ll always be worth more dead.”


  1. This one's fun :D

    Just letting you know that I too am here, and commenting :)

    I hate not having my own computer - I lament my lack of ability to keep track of all my bookmarks.

    Anyway, I've now plowed through your archives, and am joining you in the present :)

  2. Hello, Inky!

    See anything familiar up?

  3. Ooh, good conflict and dialogue. Thanks for pointing out the two contests. It's been a few days since I read Nathan's blog. I almost missed out!

    Found your blog through comments on one of the agent blogs, not sure which one. Reading over your WIP details, I LOVE the fairy tale idea. I'd pick that one up in an instant.

  4. Thanks, Mary, as I get it worked out I'll let you know how it goes. I want a very tongue-in-cheek tone and that's not how I usually write so getting the tone right... yeah, fun stuff. When I have something other than a few very rough chapters I'll throw a few hundred words up and see what everyone thinks.

    As for agents blogs, I try to read most of them, it makes up for not having a subscription to Publishers Marketplace or any of the other trade publications. When I start querying I'll probably subscribe, but right now I'm still stuck in the dark dales of editing.


  5. And wouldn't you know... I wound up putting something different on the list for Authoresses contest.

  6. Good luck, Li :D Yes, familiar :D And I also feel proud at being mentioned in your sidebar! :D

    Good luck with the move!