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Tuesday, September 9, 2014

How To Date a Zombie - a guest post by Pippa Jay

Welcome to Peaceville, population 2067 and rising...from the grave...

Luke Chester has had enough. He’s the school geek, the girls laugh at him, he’s lost his dead-end job at the pizza place, and in the midst of the world’s messiest divorce his parents don’t even know he exists. An overdose of his mom’s tranquilizers and a stomach full of whiskey should solve all his problems...

But they don’t. Instead, Luke finds himself booted out of the afterlife for not dying a natural death, with nowhere to go but back to his recently vacated corpse and reality. How the hell is he going to pass for one of the living without someone trying to blow his brains out for being one of the undead?

And it just gets worse. He’s got to fight his own desperate craving to consume the living, evade the weird supernatural hunter who’s having a field day with the new undeads rising, and there’s this creepy black shadow following him around. Add to that the distraction of female fellow undead Annabelle burning to avenge her own murder, and clearly there’s no rest for the wicked. Jeez, all he wanted to do was R.I.P.

1. Lose your sense of smell. A new zombie won't have developed that familiar rotting odour, but it'll come, especially in warmer climes. Outside venues or during the winter might be best. Or maybe if you love incense or lots of those scented candles, it'll work out just fine. Perhaps carry one of those little travel spray perfumes for extra safety.

 2. Be prepared to do most of the talking. If you love to chat, a zombie could be your perfect date. He/she should just be able to manage a groan in the right places to show they're listening.

 3. They will love you for your brains, not your beauty. Maybe be prepared to carry some spares so your own aren't on the menu. This could truly be a meeting of minds (or possibly an eating of minds if things go wrong).

 4. Be good at sewing, and carry needle and thread at all times. With the tendency for bits to drop off, skills at needlework and a strong stomach are required. Perhaps being in the medical, forensic or mortuary business may be worthwhile, and provide better repair materials than domestic needlework. 

5. Be prepared for your new romance to end in pieces. Sadly, zombies don't have much staying power (except in their pursuit of food), and will likely come apart as the romance progresses. This is not a long term relationship. Time to move on.

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After spending twelve years working as an Analytical Chemist in a Metals and Minerals laboratory, Pippa Jay is now a stay-at-home mum who writes scifi and the supernatural. Somewhere along the way a touch of romance crept into her work and refused to leave. In between torturing her plethora of characters, she spends the odd free moment playing guitar very badly, punishing herself with freestyle street dance, and studying the Dark Side of the Force. Although happily settled in the historical town of Colchester in the UK with her husband of 21 years and three little monsters, she continues to roam the rest of the Universe in her head.

Pippa Jay is a dedicated member of the Science Fiction Romance Brigade, blogging at Spacefreighters Lounge, Adventures in Scifi, and Romancing the Genres. Her works include a YA science fiction novel—Gethyon—published through BURST (Champagne Books), a scifi romance novella—Tethered—published by Breathless Press, three self-published short stories (Terms & Conditions Apply, The Bones of the Sea, and Reboot), and she’s one of eight authors included in a science fiction romance anthology—Tales from the SFR Brigade. She’s also a double SFR Galaxy Award winner, been a finalist in the Heart of Denver RWA Aspen Gold Contest (3rd place), and the GCC RWA Silken Sands Star Awards (2nd place).

You can stalk her at her website http://pippajay.co.uk, or at her blog http://pippajay.blogspot.co.uk, but without doubt her favorite place to hang around and chat is on Twitter as @pippajaygreen.

Adventures in Scifi - http://www.pippajay.blogspot.co.uk
Spacefreighters Lounge - http://www.spacefreighters.blogspot.com

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