Every time I try to respond to the comments on my self-esteem post, I tear up. You are, by far, the most wonderful friends, readers, and blog followers a person could have. Your advice is invaluable. Your encouragement is inspiring. I'm lucky to know each and every one of you, even if it is just a casual internet acquaintance.
I'm taking your advice to heart. I'm trying to find me... not in the sense of a spiritual quest, but a search to identify what I love about myself. Someone said I was grieving for my youth, she was right. the decade between twenty and thirty was full of changes, tough times, and endless moves. That decade brought seven moves, four children, two dogs, and a career change.
Thirty is where I start over. I have a clean slate. I have a stable home life with a loving husband, four wonderful children, and the one giant puppy. I have an emerging career as an author. I'm not moving for at least a year. Right now I have a situation that's custom made for nothing but writing (because this ancient laptop really can't do anything else!).
This may not be the life I envisioned at eighteen, or even at twenty-five, but it's a good life. I'm happy.
I'm learning how to be happy without any -er or -est or praise from outside. I'm learning to take pride and pleasure in something done well even if there is no applause. I'm relearning what matters not to the world, but to me. I'm setting my own standards, and learning to ignore the barage of media.
So much of this is because of you. Your wisdom, your examples, your advice is helping me. Thank you.
- Liana
We all need a little bump now and then. :) Those darn age milestones make us see failures when the truth is, our lives have usually been enriched with family and friends. I hope you continue to work on recognizing you're full of awesome win. Because you are.
ReplyDelete*hugs* So are you.
DeleteWhat a great follow-up post! Glad the comments helped, although it was most likely your own posting and analysis of the situation that helped the most :)
ReplyDeleteReally, I have the best friends. I had emails on Sunday even before I realized the post had gone live a day early. People are wonderful and supportive, and I'm thankful for that.
DeleteSomeone once said "as long as you learn you are living" or something similar to that. :)
ReplyDeleteLife is constantly changing even when we don't think it is. We are constantly changing especially when we don't think we are. Being happy with ourselves is a constant struggle because we know our own faults too much. Having friends and family who can share their views of ourselves is vital to our self-esteem.
You've started down a wonderful, terrifying, amazing path - the road to happier and zen self-awareness. You'll stumble at times, feel like you are falling or rushing headlong, often feel like you're bogged down, and each time you'll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, learn to laugh at the obstacles and continue on. Sometimes friends and family members will be there to help you up again. Mostly you'll do it on your own.
Then one day, when you are moaning over the fact that you haven't traveled very far, you'll look back and realized you have traveled a long way.
Life's sneaky like that.