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Thursday, May 10, 2012

Choosing The Better Part

I'm a firm believer in choices. I believe everyone has the right to make their own choices. I believe every life is a sum of the choices that person made.

That isn't to say we don't wind up in situations we have no control over. We don't choose the storms in life. No chooses to be the victim of someone else's bad behavior or of illness, but what we do in those circumstances comes to define us.

With that in mind I came up with a list of choices that make me happy... Oddly enough this all occurred to me while cleaning out my closet, otherwise know as the Pit of Despair. I'm sure that was just a coincidence.

Choosing To Lose The Negative Energy
All of us have different trigger points, what drives me over the edge and down the Cliffs of Insanity isn't going to be the same thing for you. But we all have those triggers, and we all know where we can find those triggers. Sometimes it's a website, sometimes it's that person on Twitter, sometimes it's that relative that's always negative.

My advice? Lose 'em.

Sit down and look over the past year and decide whether the activity or person has added anything to your life. Have they helped you become a better person? Have they helped you grow or inspired you at all? No? Let them go.

And don't use the "blood is thicker than water" excuse either. Emotional abuse from a relative or a close friend is still emotional abuse. Don't stay in an abusive relationship for any reason.

Choosing To Let Go
This is what hit me while I was cleaning my closet... I was happy! I was thrilled to box up the skinny jeans I wore last year!

I go through this after every pregnancy. Somehow I convince myself that I will snap back to my pre-pregnancy shape as soon as I leave the hospital. I cling to my skinny clothes, daydreaming of putting them back on while I rock my infant to sleep. Let me tell you, it never happens. Three months of bed rest combined with pregnancy does not make you snap back into shape. But I keep the clothes there as a grim reminder of what I should be.

It's depressing. I get to the point where I make excuses to avoid my closet.

Boxing up the clothes forces me to let go of the guilt. I do the same with half-finished projects, reminders for school activities I know I can't go to, book orders, everything! If there isn't time for it, if it doesn't fit, if it's broken... put it away, recycle, donate it to charity... just get it out of your house.

Choosing To Respect Myself

This is possibly the hardest one. Being judgmental is natural... not good, but normal. And the person we usually judge the hardest is ourselves. As a mom I have a bad habit of putting myself last. I'm pretty sure I did this before I was a mom too, although not to this extent. It's just that my goals get shoved to the back of the To-Do list behind everyone else's expectations.

This isn't a bad thing if you're just shoving six hours of gaming to the back of the To-Do list and playing for only two hours, but when eating, sleeping, and exercise fall to the back of the list - or fall off the list altogether - there's a problem. People joke about skipping meals for work All The Time! It's not funny! Skipping a meal means you respect your paperwork more than yourself.

Really? REALLY??? What was so important that you couldn't take ten minutes to eat something? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Stop putting your health last. Respect yourself enough to take care of yourself.

Choose People Before Things
Things are nice. I love my tech. I love all the perks of living in a modern first world country, but there is never a reason to let Things be more important than People. The most miserable people I've met are the ones who think Things are more important than People. Work, games, money, football teams... they aren't more important than the people who interact with every single day.

Make family and friends a priority. Pay attention to them. Know what they're doing even if it doesn't interest you. I don't need to love crochet, but I can be happy for my friend who finished her crochet project.

Choose To Be Happy
This is the FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT law. Some days suck, I'm not gonna lie, but the choice to let a bad day ruin things for you is a choice. Your attitude is going to determine whether a missed bus or a rejection letter ruins things for you, or whether you're going to let the negative energy go and find something that makes you happy.

That's my short list of choices. I can't say I'm able to make the best choices every day, but every day is a new day and I can always make tomorrow better. Namaste.


  1. You will never know how much I needed to read this post today, so thank you!

  2. I appreciate your positivity! Especially when have the things on the internet today make me want to rage or cry, it's nice to be reminded that we can take a part to make our lives better.

  3. I choose...chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream!

    Better yet, ditch the ice cream. Chocolate chip cookie dough, mmmm. Good raw or baked.

    A long time ago, I figured out that only I could decide how my day and my attitude towards life would go so every day I make the decision to have a good day and be the best person I can be. Sometimes things happen, I realize that, and I handle them as they occur. But spending my days complaining or grumbling over things I have no control of (and that includes people) simply makes me unhappy.

    I don't like being unhappy.

    So, I look for the positive every day and try to do RAKs (random acts of kindness) and compliment people I know whenever possible.

    Speaking of which, have I mentioned how much I enjoy reading your blog? It usually brings a smile to my face and often some laughs.

  4. HI Liana, Been busy but took time to read your blog. I liked it and you had a lot of truths in it. Most people do not like routines, but you should cut out a half an hour or an hour everyday at a set time and spending it on yourself. Or on the self you want to be. Walk with your kids for a half hour, the clothes will fit sooner than you think. It will create a bond. Soon the kids will make it mandatory. It is taking time to take charge and be in charge. A time when you can say to others I am sorry but I am busy. For me it is church. If I have company they are more than welcome to go with me, but I am going. I need that hour two or three times a week. Take care and keep at it. You have most of it under control. Turtle <><