Author in Residence

5:30 - Wake up, check Twitter, debate whether I should go workout or not

6:00 - Wake the girls up, spend fifty minutes begging them to get moving

6:50 - Give the kids cereal

6:55 - Eldest panics over forgotten test, try to teach science concepts in three minutes

7:00 - Frantic hunt for shoes

7:05 - The bus arrives

7:10 - Wake up Bambino and feed him

7:15 - Chase toddler so I can get a new shirt on him

7:20 - Leave for speech therapy

7:50 - Sit in the freezing waiting room waiting for the perpetually late speech therapist

7:52 - Bambino starts screaming

7:53 - Rescue Bambino's shoes, put them back on

8:00 - Try to remember all the words Bambino used this week

8:30 - Leave speech and drive home in a rainstorm

8:50 - Get home, give Bambino toys, open manuscript

8:51 - Bambino sits on my lap with a book "Read?"

9:35 - Distract Bambino from pile of books with morning snack and blocks, review outline, start to write

10:00 - Respond to emergency email from school, check Twitter

10:10 - Write three words

10:10 - Hear the front door open and slam shut

10:11 - Chase Bambino down the street in fuzzy pink socks

10:13 - Catch Bambino when he stops for a mud puddle

10:15 - Haul screaming, muddy toddler home for a bath

11:30 - Toss the muddy clothes in the laundry and make lunch, check Twitter

11:45 - Eat with Bambino

11:50 - Clean up lunch disaster before peanut butter dries on the ceiling fan

12:15 - Clean up the dog food soup spilled on the living room floor while I was cleaning up lunch

12:30 - Put Bambino down for a nap

12:35 - Sit down at computer with glass of water, check Twitter, check email

1:00 - Open manuscript, try to remember what I was saying because I stopped in the middle of a sentence

1:40 - Delete 800 words after writing 300 new ones

1:45 - Stop by Twitter to cry over editing woes, notice time, wake Bambino up

1:46 - Thunder crashes overhead and lights flicker, I hope I saved, I'm in the car going to pick up kids

2:00 - Dentist's office - pay $300 because someone lost a filling in gym class

3:00 - Feed the hungry savages, check Twitter, check to see if manuscript survived the storm

3:30 - 5:00 - Argue over homework, the proper use of past tense, and what 2+ 2 equals

5:00 - Meltdown, everyone starts screaming and Dog does his potty dance, Eldest screams that she has scouts tonight

5:20 - Return from tug-of-war with Dog and find cereal spread across the floor, Bambino is eating a candy bar and cheese, load everyone in car and drive to scouts

6:00 - Start dinner, clean living room, check Twitter, dodge question about how this chapter is going

6:30 - Eat dinner

6:35 - Clean up, run to pick up Eldest from scouts with two tired kids screaming for bed

7:20 - Tell the kids to take a "really quick" bath

7:50 - Tell the kids for the last time to get out of the "really quick" bath and get to bed

8:00 - Bedtime, reopen manuscript, check Twitter in despair, what was I writing again?

8:10 - "Mom, I don't feel good."

8:30 - Peek at manuscript again, is it really that bad?

8:32 - Start Googling "new hobbies" I'm obviously not cut out for writing

8:47 - Beta-reader sends an email demanding the next chapter

8:50 - Start writing again

8:54 - Someone starts throwing up, go clean up, administer medicine, send to bed

9:25 - Check email for inspiration of any form

9:26 - Read email: "It must be great to do nothing but write all day! I wish I could do that!"

9:27 - Reply, "Me too."