A Feminist Rant

Ladies, don't be scared of your tits.

Mammary glands are not the big deal Hugh Hefner wants you to believe they are. Your brains do not reside in your boobs. A D cup will not make your brain shrink (although DD might make your back ache).

Having a vagina is not the end of the world. Nor is it the defining point of your personality. Gentlemen, that goes for having a penis as well. Please don't blush, I'm sure you've heard the word before. Probably in eighth grade anatomy class. Since then you've renamed your genitalia, avoided direction discussion of anything wang related with your doctor, yet tried to accent your bounty in all sorts of strange ways.

We won't even get started on the topic of compensation.

No, today we're addressing the brainless masses of Feminist Zombies that recoil at the sight of the color pink. Lace can only mixed with leather. And if you even dare try on a frilly, airy romantic dress beware of the Zombies who will instantly label you as a stupid, slutty, whorish reject from the ranks Feminine Strength.

I understand the need to set men who believe women are second-class citizens (or domestic animals) in their place. It's sad to see a Y-chromosome wasted on the genetic throwback that is the modern cave-dwelling fool. Such people are to be pitied at a safe distance, possibly while they are locked behind bars in the monkey cage of the zoo.

Misogynists exist. They fear the feminine, the female form, and their own lack of backbone.

Don't embrace the misogynist ideal and hate herself for what you are. Don't fear the feminine. For centuries women have pursued power. They have led countries, and battles. They have been attacked, even defeated at times. The 1980s led to a strange case of over-compensation: power suits, shoulder pads, and the idea that a woman must be stripped of her feminine nature to compete (a la Lady MacBeth).

Girls, Lady MacBeth was insane, don't set her as your role-model in life. Normal people do not murder their house guests. Real women know better. Words cut so much deeper than a knife, and slander is so much easier than blood to hide.

It's worrisome that this misogynistic view of feminism persists. The Feminist Zombies come in both genders and they keep insisting that beauty, motherhood, girlishness, and happiness in general are sure signs of an inhibited, abused, amoral, or otherwise damaged psyche.

The idea sneaks it way into normal, sane conversation. It sneaks into geeky conversations even when both sides of the argument are rabid egalitarians. Recently I read a review of female science-fiction characters. All long-haired characters were denounced as "overly girly" or weak in one form or another.

Here's a news flash kids: hair length does not affect your intelligence. Marie Curie had long hair. So did Jane Goodall. There are practical reasons for cutting your hair short, but boosting your IQ score isn't one of them.

Now, why did this whole rant come up? Someone asked me if I was going to change my name when I published in the science-fiction section.

I'm sure there are some countries where having an obviously female name would limit my publication possibilities. These are the same countries where I would probably be stoned for any number of offenses, from not being the right religion to having naked characters running around firing guns. I'm not worried about missing that demographic.

For all the countries where I am not likely to get killed for having naked characters I can't think of a reason why a person would care what gender the author of their favorite book is. Honestly, I can't think of why the gender of person matters unless you're planning on some hot and sweaty sex with them and have a single-gender preference for who you sleep around with. Tits or dick doesn't matter outside the bedroom (and I suppose the doctor's office when they ask if you're pregnant).

Females are intelligent, witty, beautiful, fun, happy... just like males. We're all individuals. Everyone has a unique life. Everyone has their own experiences, goals, dreams, wants, and needs. No one is limited to set of reproductive organs.

I am not a Feminist, not in the militant sense. I am an egalitarian. I believe everyone is created equal. The amount of work we put in to achieving our dreams may vary, but we are humans gifted with free will and power to make our own choices.

That means I can wear a cute pink skirt, a pair of silly socks, or shredded jeans without ever questioning my individual worth. I wear clothes so I won't freeze to death, not because I think a piece of cotton can define me. What you do defines you. Who you help defines you. I'm not scared of my body, and you shouldn't be either.

Image found on Google Images and used under Fair Use laws.