I stumbled onto an interesting discussion on the dynamics between men and women, submissive and dominant, in romance writing. Brynn Paulin started the discussion and Kim Dare added her two cents.
Both the blogs respond the feminist desire for complete equality with examples of romance. Brynn puts forth the theory that not all women want control. I'm sure she's right... while I plot to take over the world and become Empress of the Universe there are some women who would be happy to abdicate all responsibility. Sometimes I'm willing to jump on that boat, I don't want to decide what to cook for dinner, or where to spend the weekend, but that doesn't happen often.
Kin brings up the idea that submissive in some forms is not the same as unequal. This is very true, although I've never tried her analogy with the handcuffs. Being submissive and meek in one situation does not mean you are unequal or that you want to be a doormat. Part of being strong is being able to bend sometimes. Giving ground Here means you advance There.... think tactics and chess.
Some women are born leaders, they take control, they care about others, and they are possessive, all very alpha traits. But I also write weaker women, not because I think a woman should be weak or meek, but because that is a part of human nature that is as natural as being born a leader. To force all your characters to be strong would be very unnatural.
Science fiction does have the advantage with feminists because gender equality is a general trait of most futuristic societies that get written about. Not all, certainly, but it isn't uncommon to see a woman running a space ship, or a society, or even a having a culture where traditional western gender roles are reversed and men are the ones treated unfairly. Science fiction writers are a lot less likely to catch flak for this.
So, I'm interested, what is your take on this? Should women always bend gender roles a la Allana and Joan of Arc? Or do you prefer to write and read about possessive males and possessed females?
Personally, I prefer a blend. Sometimes the man leads, sometimes the women has to. For characters and books to feel natural to me there needs to be a fluidity to the balance of power. I find it fascinating when an author is able to turn a natural weakness or submissiveness into a character's strength. It can be done, and done well. I do love my alpha males, someone who is willing to be loyal, loving, and devoted. But I appreciate those same characteristics in a female character, although they may come across differently.
Have you ever noticed that? A woman's strength and alpha-ability isn't necessarily tied to her bossiness.
Sometimes the hardest job for an alpha is to support and defend, like the Laird's lady when she was left to defend the keep while he was at war, or the army wives throughout history who have been both mother and father while their husband is gone, the husband who will stand back and let his wife be queen and love her for who she is when the crown is taken off.
Even a coward can lead a charge, but it takes a very strong person to stand their ground against overwhelming odds.
Liana--
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Thank you so much for putting it on here.
My novel, The Breakway,,is all about a passive (extremely, almost annoyingly passive) teenage girl who learns that although being passive and submissive does not necessarily spell out weakness, it can, and does mean, for her, a pathway leading straight to a miserable existence.
She eventually learns, of course, that she must step forward and assert her own decisions and strength to create her own happiness.
I love your words:
But I also write weaker women, not because I think a woman should be weak or meek, but because that is a part of human nature that is as natural as being born a leader. To force all your characters to be strong would be very unnatural.
I believe you've nailed one of the reasons I wrote my novel in the first place - to make the point that yes, it is human nature for women to be weak and/or meek, but that we don't have to succumb to that simply because we are female.
I hope you don't mind that my last post on my blog referred to your blog and post about "in and out of love." If you would rather remain anonymous, let me know.
I've enjoyed your writings! You bring up good points about writing, and I've learned a lot from your thoughts. Thanks!
No worries, I like getting quoted. :o)
ReplyDeleteThe idea of submissive females amuses me, specifically because I'm not. I couldn't be wishy-washy and need my DH home every day and survive his current job. He's busy, and he's home when he can be, but the running of the house and making decisions and paying bills falls to me because he doesn't have the time. And I shudder at the thought of him paying the bills, he waits until the last possible moment!
I'm glad you enjoyed the post :o)
Personally, I prefer a blend. Sometimes the man leads, sometimes the women has to. For characters and books to feel natural to me there needs to be a fluidity to the balance of power.
ReplyDeleteGot it in one. As in life, so in fiction. Though I prefer my main characters to have a least a bit of spunk.
But thinking on it, that's a requirement of their MCness, not their gender :)
Great post Liana :)
ReplyDeleteI think you're right that every story needs a variety of characters and personalities to make it work. No one wants to read about a dozen characters who all have the same strengths and weaknesses (Or the same kinks, in my case, lol).
I agree that there is strength in submission - a less flashy, obvious strength perhaps, but still strength for all that.
As to what do I prefer to write. Submissive women are fun to write. So are submissive men. So are dominant women and dominant men. But the characters I enjoy writing most of all have a little bit of both personality traits in them.
By the way, I love your closing paragraph.
this post was quite interesting. Like 'just_me' the idea of such a submissive female is amusing and slightly alien because I am totally the opposite. It amazes me that a woman can stand to be that way but I see it at my highschool a lot. I do agree that the most interesting protagonists both boy and girl need to have a mix of dominence and submission. My main character in the lastet romance-fantasy I am writing has both and I use that to furthur the plot quite frequently throughout the story.
ReplyDelete