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Wednesday, July 2, 2008

To Be An Evil Overlord by Inkblot

Mercury hunched over her makeshift table and tapped her fingertips together. "And then," she said, "we'll connect a trip wire to the door, and when they open it a massive pot of honey will fall on top of them. And as it falls it will trigger the release of the killer wasps. Muah ha ha!" She stared into the distance, eyes glittering.


  1. The killer wasps do it for me... I am amused.... but I'm cheating because I've read this one. It's great until I get lost with the blue ferret......

    But you have a great hook! At least I'd buy the book :o)

  2. :D Even if you'd throw it away in disgust a few chapters later :D

    hehe. Ah well, at least the opening works for you ;)

  3. I just.... I dunno.... I'll try again and see if I can pin-point what drives me nutty. Maybe just the lack of explosions. It's hard to say.

  4. Nah, there are issues with the characterisation. I need to figure out what to do with Mercury... How does one make the villain sympathetic? *goggle eyes* First book will help, I suspect, but still...

  5. . . . wait, when is a villain not sympathethic? %-)

    Every time I read it I remember how much I love this para, Inky!

    (not least because it's, uh, probably something I would come up with in a dungeon)

  6. :D

    And therein the problem of this story. It's fabulous - for those who naturally sympathise with villians. Unfortunately, sadly, unfairly... you are still greatly in the minority.

    So unless you and Merc plan to buy, oh, about ten thousand copies each....

    :D O:) %-)

  7. *Is amused that the word verification word has "beef" in it*

    Inky--I still love this story, and I really like the opening paragraph. I don't normally sympathize with the villain, but Mercury amuses me to no end.

    What exactly makes any character sympathetic? You've told me to show more internal conflict. Maybe that's what you need to do.

    ~Beth, the one who likes to give people their own advice.

  8. This is fun, and goes great with the title. But I do see how it could be problematic sympathizing with the villainous MC. Perhaps show her through another character's eyes, someone who sees the good traits she herself might deny.

    Other ideas:
    - Give her a soft spot. She will hesitate at nothing against most people, but children or birds or something are off limits.
    - If the present isn't something we can sympathize with, then delve into the past. Show how she became villainous.

    Keep in mind that these are comments from someone who has only read the title and first para. :-)

  9. Mercury is sympathetic because she's entirely too goofy (in my opinion). And she's the anti-anti-hero who's trying to over throw the other Dread Overlord....

    Yeah... here I am squealing on all Inky's secrets....

    It's crazy though :o)

  10. fwiw, this has turned out to be book two. Book one will be the story of how Mercury got to BE in the dungeon, planning her cunning escape... So hopefully that should make her more sympathetic.

    L - so, you like Mercury then?? In that case who is it you take objection to?