I agonized a bit over this week's selection. I've just wrapped up the latest draft of JANE DOE and handed it off to my beta's, EVEN VILLAINS FALL IN LOVE is on the shelf waiting for true love, and EVERY HERO NEEDS A VILLAIN is in progress, so those are my obvious choices.
Instead of going for the obvious I dug through my work-in-progress and picked out a scene from a book that's partially written, but not finished. I shoved it under the bed last year in frustration, and I'm considering pulling it back out. Set in the same universe as SEVENTY, this novel follows the life of Jesse Daylor, an infantry commander that was born to the genetically elite Red Guard and considered a contender for the throne.
He left the Red Guard to enlist in the infantry, a choice that led to his family disowning him. When the planet comes under attack from the Hurluk fleet, Jesse's team is sent to save as many civilians as they can from the firestorms. But even cut off from his family, Jesse's thoughts are with the Red Guard.
The heat was almost unbearable, he could feel his lips cracking and wondered for just a moment if that's how his brother felt when he flew toward the monstrous ship and died. As if in response to his morbid thoughts another attack launched from the Imperial Base. Jesse kissed his burning medallion. Was that his brother? Or was his brother still on the ground? Or were the rest of the Daylar clan doing their ancestral duty to the Imperial Throne and seeing the August Personage to safety?
We who die, salute you.
"Harmen." He punched the off-worlder in the shoulder. "What was it they sent you to infantry for?"
"Stealing a flyer," Harmen said. The short off-world human grinned. "If I knew this was coming I would have taken the quick execution."
Jesse smirked. "Do us a favor, Harmen, go find a flyer. This is a rich town, I'm sure some citizen won't mind helping out some local ground pounders. There's no way we can lift if that ship is full, and I'm not going to try and outrun this storm."
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This sounds like a great story!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a great story here! Can't wait for more. And grats on completing your draft. That's very exciting. I'm envious. I can't wait to get my draft done (long way to go yet).
ReplyDeleteFun little snippet, but I'm confused. Do people both enlist, as well as get sent to the infantry as punishment for crimes? One would think that might turn out badly for the volunteers...
ReplyDeleteMilitary is an option for first-time criminals. The US has, or had, a similar system. Harmen committed a minor, non-violent crime and chose military service over prison.
DeleteLove the scene, I can feel the desperation and despair.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you need to pull this one back out from under the bed. This snippet alone makes me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteI'm debating pulling it back out, but I'm not satisfied with the ending. It needs more brainstorming.
DeleteI got drawn into Jesse right away. Hope you figure out the snarls. I have a wip that has been almost done for 2 years--ending doesn't satisfy me.
ReplyDeleteOne day I hope I'll figure out how it all works. Right now... it still needs to simmer a bit. :o)
DeleteWell, expertise is stealing fliers should count for something--only he got caught before.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm liking the premise here. Looking forward to reading more :-)
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ReplyDeleteAdding my voice to those that think you need to resurrect this.
ReplyDeleteDo you really need me to say it? Yes, ressurect it!
ReplyDeleteThere seems to be a strong consensus for bringing Jesse and the crew back from the grave. I'll work on it. :o)
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