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Thursday, April 5, 2012

I Write Mommy P0rn

Thinkstock via NickMom Blog

All around the web I've been seeing stuff about FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY. Is it fanfiction? Is it romance? Is it good, bad, indifferent? The reviews have been split. Some of the people love the series, others accuse the author of writing Mommy P0rn.

I haven't read the book so I can't offer my opinion there, but in a show of solidarity with the author - as a mother and author myself - I want to say: Yes, I write Mommy P0rn.

EVEN VILLAINS FALL IN LOVE is full of Mommy P0rn from page one, let me give you an example of what Evan (aka Dr. Charm) the super villain, father, husband, and protagonist does in this book....

... Evan, super villains and devilishly handsome man, washes dishes. *excuse me while I fan myself*

... he reads the kids a bedtime story *would you look at the nurturing side on that one!*

... he gives his wife unsolicited back rubs *I may need a cold shower*

... not once does he ever look at another woman and not think his wife is a thousand times better *because that's what makes a committed man so wonderful, isn't it, the fact that he will never leave the one he loves*

The only flaw in this perfect man (minus his tendency to be on the wrong side of the law while his wife works the side of truth and justice) is the fact that he can't cook. He can make reservations though, and with the way he fills out a Dior suit reservations are fine by me!

Mommy P0rn can be summarized in seven little words: If you love me, do the dishes.

I'm impressed that E.L. James was able to stretch dish washing out over three books. If she'd asked I definitely would have suggested she throw some sex in there, or at least make the guy wash dishes in just his blue jeans.

When you get done reading her book about foot rubs and waxing floors you can come read mine about a super villain set on taking over the world, the superhero he's in love with, their four little girls, and the basement full of color-coded polka dotted minions who spend their days trimming the lawn now that they've retired from a life of crime (sort of).

A super villain at the top of his game must choose between the world he wants and the woman he loves.


  1. LOL.

    Love it. I can't wait to read this one. I still remember when you were developing this and needed a superhero name for various characters. I may have cheated and used a name generator I found online, but inundating your twitter feed with ideas was a fun distraction that day.

    1. Keep finding names for me! With any luck, there will be more than one book in the series. :o)

    2. Roger that! Any time you need a name, just send up the bat signal. Once I see it, I'll start looking for an appropriate list of potential names.

      (Sorry, forgot to hit the correct reply button so it threads into this convo.)

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  3. I just wanted to say I really enjoy reading your blog, Liana. Your sense of humour is awesome. Hope the book goes gangbusters. I'll definitely be reading it.

    1. If you like the sense of humor on the blog, you should love the book! I figure that's as much warning as I can give people. :o)

      Thanks for stopping by!