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Thursday, February 9, 2012

Back To Work Blues

No one wants to go back to work. It's a fact of life. Look at Twitter on Monday morning and just try to find one person shouting, "Huzzah! I'm going to work today!" Don't hold your breath, though.

The nice thing about an office job with a paycheck is that you really have no choice but to go back to work. People will call if you go missing. The boss expects two weeks notice if you want to quit. And there's the whole paycheck incentive.

When your daytime job is chasing kids and writing from home you don't have anyone pushing you to get back to work. No one calls if I don't sit down to write or edit. No one cares if I write another book or let my scribbles languish. And it is *hard* to stagger to my feet after four hours of broken sleep and force myself to sit in a cold study to write.

No doubt part of my melancholy comes from constantly reading amazing books and wondering how I can ever write something that good. Rough drafts always suffer in comparison to polished novels. Part of it is simple baby blues, I want to sleep for a month. There are other contributing factors as well.

The end result is that I'm struggling to get back to work.

Around 3am this morning I considered just giving up and finding something new to do with my life, like competitive napping. In the past few weeks I've made some major flubs, had two people I beta-read for ask me (very nicely since they are sweet people) to never darken their doorsteps again, an agent remind me to spell her name right (long story >.<), and considered erasing my hard drive because it would be so much easier than actually making progress with editing.

I'm not quite waving the white flag yet, but I'm not back in the race yet either.

I'm telling myself that I need baby steps. A little work here, a little work there. Maybe a few hundred words today, maybe a few more tomorrow. Success isn't about doing it all today, but doing something everyday. Please remind me of that when I wake up tomorrow and threaten to go sell shoes rather than edit ever again.


  1. I so understand this. I lost my agent when he went into a different line of work, and I've struggled to finish anything since. I have the excuse of a day job, but it really is an excuse. I wrote my previously agented novel with a day job. You sold a book. Don't let that amazing fact get lost in tbe shuffle, and consider maternity leave. Just because you work from home doesn't mean you shouldn't take time off to adjust to life with your new family member. :)

  2. You'll do fine. It's all hormones. Me, I celebrate going to work on Monday. It's escape from mommy-hood. I love my girls and boy, but they drive me up the wall sometimes!

    Don't you dare erase your hard-drive! We need good sci-fi books.

  3. Kathy - I'm trying to convince myself this is maternity leave and I'll be back soon. I'm not sure it's working.

    Tory - We do need good sci-fi books, so I'll keep writing. Although the sleep deprivation may make editing really fun. :P

  4. HAHA! I do care about edits!!! I was going to wait until next week to start pestering you.

    Here I am, screaming... 'I CARE! I CARE!'

  5. Christina - Fine! I'll go edit! Where was I.... *gets lost in the pile of paper*

  6. Hi Again, Been busy twitting or whatever. I hereby give you permission to take 60 days off from everything but your family and really bond with them. If one of your children ever goes before you, you will be glad you did. I can vouch for that as a fact. Clear your mind and come back refreshed and renewed. I took 26 years off and only regret I did not journal during that time. It would make filling in details easier. Just realize how blessed you are. Things came out the way they did. Take care, catch you later.

  7. Yeah, a lot of women I've worked with spent month off before diving back into work, so even baby steps this early are pretty good.

  8. Ric - Don't remind me about journaling! With my first two I had baby journals and wrote them notes every week. By Kid #3 I couldn't find the time. I figure my tweets are archived with the library of congress. That has to count for something!

    JA Beard - You're sweet. I moved cross-country with both my older girls before they were 2 weeks old. At this point after my first I was in size 4 jeans and back in school full-time and working part-time. But, then again, she was my first and I was 20. I think old age (I'm nearly 30!) and the other three kids might be contributing factors at this point. Maybe. I dunno...

  9. 1. If you don't snap out of it I'll do everything in my power to make sure your little corner of the world is slated for the first deep-winter tests of the upcoming weather control system.

    2. If you only knew just how long it took me to get my 1st WIP where it is today, or how long it's taken me to get to Ch5 of book 2.

  10. I'd love to beta read for you. Just sayin'.

  11. I second (or third) the maternity leave sentiment. I'm 2 and a half weeks on my leave and I can't imagine doing anything productive between the lack of sleep, recovering from the C section, and the extra steps involved with feeding at the moment. I'm impressed that you are still blogging right now.