#ContactForm1 { display: none ! important; }

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday - Don't Walk Away

A snippet of new writing from JANE DOE:

He didn't look at her like he was asking for her body. Mac looked at her like he wanted to devour her soul. His soft touch bordered on worshipful and made her feel a lot less worthy than any number of one-night stands, a fling she could pray away at her next confession.

Disappointing Mac when he realized she wasn't perfect would devastate her.

And that was the problem she realized, she was waiting for the spell to break and for Mac to realize she's wasn't what he wanted. Then he would walk away.


For more great work go check out the Six Sentence Sunday Blog Roll.
Posted by at All About:

19 comments:

  1. Jenna McCormickMay 21, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    "Devour her soul." Oh yeah, sign me up for that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jessica E. SubjectMay 22, 2011 at 7:57 AM

    You show her internal thoughts well. Hopefully things will work out and she'll be able to enjoy moments like these with him instead of worrying.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gem SivadMay 22, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    Very nice presentation of her inner conflict. Too feel so unworthy you suspect anyone who values you.

    Great six.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ArleneMay 22, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    Love how insecure she is. Great show.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jenna JaxonMay 22, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    Excellent show of her insecurity, and a hint of longing as well, perhaps? Great six.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cherie MarksMay 22, 2011 at 11:32 AM

    I like the humanity that comes out in her worries. Great six.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMay 22, 2011 at 11:36 AM

    Guess she has had a lot of heartbreak in life. Best to not have hope just in case.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Carolyn RosewoodMay 22, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Nice conflict there!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chrystalla ThomaMay 22, 2011 at 11:43 AM

    Maybe he does want her to be perfect and will be disappointed - that would be a new twist! ;-)
    Great six.

    ReplyDelete
  10. UnknownMay 22, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    Very nice. I like her angst.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Jessica KnaussMay 22, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    Poor gal. Too bad she can't just enjoy the worship.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Marion SipeMay 22, 2011 at 4:39 PM

    Aw. I like this. Very real. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sandy NachlingerMay 22, 2011 at 8:26 PM

    I absolutely loved "fling she could pray away at her next confession." Brilliant!
    My six sentences are here: Sandy's Six

    ReplyDelete
  14. LindsayMay 22, 2011 at 10:42 PM

    Love the inner conflict she's feeling.

    ReplyDelete
  15. J.A. BeardMay 23, 2011 at 1:32 AM

    Poor woman is all twisted up. Great job of showing her inner conflict.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Jean DavisMay 23, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    Love the first two lines. Great inner conflict!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lori W.May 23, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Nice tension/conflict!

    Lori

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sarah GrimmMay 23, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    Great job at showing her internal thoughts and conflict. I already want to read it just to see how/if Mac shows her she IS what he wants.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Cate MastersMay 24, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Aw, poor girl - she's torturing herself. You portrayed it very well.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)