tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post703121719904147016..comments2023-12-19T05:15:27.114-05:00Comments on Liana Brooks: Happy Endings Are For the LAST PageLiana Brookshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-4754079256583715102008-07-08T13:55:00.000-04:002008-07-08T13:55:00.000-04:00Here are the last few lines at the end of chapter ...Here are the last few lines at the end of chapter one of my urban fantasy novel:<BR/><BR/><I>I stared at the fist aimed at my face, the knuckles white, the backs of his curled fingers sprouting fine hairs as pale as those on his head. And he wore a ring on his middle finger, its ruby center surrounded by Sanskrit letters that I could read with crystal clarity. They spelled the word Vyantara. Then I saw only darkness.</I><BR/><BR/>I'd say action. I think it works as a hook because it definitely sets the tone for this character's future, which is pretty bleak.Karen Duvallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01839711547501582977noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-77081625027211999272008-07-08T09:51:00.000-04:002008-07-08T09:51:00.000-04:00As you shall see, endings are not my strong point....As you shall see, endings are not my strong point. I will have to work on them next draft...<BR/><BR/>All from EotF:<BR/><BR/>Ch. 1: <BR/>The guard still kept his post at the Dome entrance. If Jex didn't leave the same way he entered, it would look suspicious. He nodded to the guard and swaggered into the courtyard.<BR/><BR/>- Action. does it work? no idea. I think the last scene of my heroine's POV is more hooky, and hopefully that and the reader's curiosity about Jex will keep them reading.<BR/><BR/>Ch. 4:<BR/>She stood and turned to leave when she heard someone coming. Likely the same person who set up camp in her clearing and had the nerve to mistreat their horse. She decided to stay and confront whomever it was.<BR/><BR/>- Action/anticipation. The reader knows who is coming, but not this character. Anyone know a better way to write that last line and get the point across? It's just so... awkward.<BR/><BR/>One more. Ch. 13:<BR/><BR/>A name came to her at last, "Arroyo," and with the simple whisper they belonged to each other.<BR/><BR/>- Not so much because it works as a hook, but it's one of my favorite lines. :-)feywriterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17224558691840388691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-55073051113766095742008-07-07T20:54:00.000-04:002008-07-07T20:54:00.000-04:00fun....fun....Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-66976071057808349182008-07-07T20:09:00.000-04:002008-07-07T20:09:00.000-04:00Ooo, oo, pick me! :DAll quotes from The Project:Ch...Ooo, oo, pick me! :D<BR/><BR/>All quotes from The Project:<BR/><BR/>Ch 1:<BR/>I fought against his restraint. “Andrew,” I said, ducking out of his hug, “I don’t think he didn’t die. He didn’t die. I don’t know why you can’t just accept that.”<BR/>“Come with me to the lab?”<BR/>His words caught me by surprise. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.<BR/>“Please? I think you’ll understand then.”<BR/>I nodded. Why not? What did I have to lose? We went to the lab, we saw Dad, Andrew admitted I was right and confessed to whatever stupid prank he was pulling, and we went our separate ways again. Happy. <BR/>I headed to the front door. “I’ll get my keys.”<BR/><BR/>Yes, I used more than the last line, because the hook comes just before it O:) With luck you shall cope :P:D<BR/><BR/>Ch 3:<BR/>A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I slid off the chair and crossed to the door, opened it, and found myself face to face with a policeman.<BR/><BR/>That'll do for now :)Amy Laurenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16782528327499574711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-65377652384336288762008-07-07T19:55:00.000-04:002008-07-07T19:55:00.000-04:00he he he- thanks Dawn! I'll get those up :)he he he- thanks Dawn! <BR/><BR/>I'll get those up :)Liana Brookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-22361671819476542212008-07-07T19:14:00.000-04:002008-07-07T19:14:00.000-04:00There was only one solution to his treachery. He’...There was only one solution to his treachery. He’d make him suffer. One planet. A place Nero traveled to once and swore he'd never revisit. A ‘cess pool’ he’d called it. Polluted, overcrowded, angry.<BR/><BR/>Perfect.<BR/><BR/>Darius’s mouth twitched. "Pack your bags. We're going to Earth."<BR/><BR/>"We?" Nero muttered, his eyes wide.<BR/><BR/>”We.”<BR/> <BR/><BR/>Okay one more. I love last lines. I'd call this action.D L Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005096541408308851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-83863802162511059552008-07-07T19:06:00.000-04:002008-07-07T19:06:00.000-04:00The devil held a new shovel by the handle, point d...The devil held a new shovel by the handle, point down into the dirt floor of the cellar. The lantern light reflected back at Vito who tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. He glanced down at the shovel and back into the eyes of the master of his corpses. “Oh shit.”<BR/> “Hello Vito.”<BR/><BR/>Oooh what fun. Here's an ending where I tied up a lose end. I'd say it's action unless you read what comes before, then you'd call it a wrap.D L Jacksonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03005096541408308851noreply@blogger.com