tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post2434901902369415838..comments2023-12-19T05:15:27.114-05:00Comments on Liana Brooks: Let's Talk About GuiltLiana Brookshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14587774916354749190noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-39551302409464862762014-10-02T21:01:29.637-04:002014-10-02T21:01:29.637-04:00Sadly, that is my real story, yes. We had no choic...Sadly, that is my real story, yes. We had no choice but to cremate our little girl, so we could move. Several years later, when her grandmother died, the funeral director let us slip our little girl's cremains in with her grandma, so that was sweet.<br />There was nothing that we could do for our little girl, nothing that would have changed the outcome, but that didn't stop me from feeling horribly guilty for years afterward. Then, after my husband died about eight years ago, I also felt horribly guilty, for not knowing enough to recognize the symptoms he had, symptoms that several doctor friends of ours said they hadn't noticed, either. The guilt was still there, and it took me years to let that guilt go, too.<br />I certainly understand your own bouts with guilt and depression. You're on your way through recovery, though, and that's the most important thing.hellotammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18028379267204270359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-15014073339251779692014-10-02T20:55:02.486-04:002014-10-02T20:55:02.486-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.hellotammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18028379267204270359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-74782264128153104992014-10-02T09:18:55.100-04:002014-10-02T09:18:55.100-04:00You're welcome. :)
Most of this comes from pe...You're welcome. :)<br /><br />Most of this comes from personal experience. Guilt almost destroyed me once and it took me years to accept and understand that I had no reason to feel guilty. So anytime I can possibly help someone else deal with misplaced guilt I tell them what I finally figured out. It doesn't make the guilt go away but it can save them some time in figuring this out.Ilnara Heskenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18299242041768818364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-34234568068757763702014-10-02T09:17:27.353-04:002014-10-02T09:17:27.353-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Ilnara Heskenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18299242041768818364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-64251030501299472472014-10-01T10:27:02.511-04:002014-10-01T10:27:02.511-04:00*hugs Ilnara*
I may print this and hang it over m...*hugs Ilnara*<br /><br />I may print this and hang it over my desk until I manage to move past the guilt and accept that some things are out of my control. <br /><br />Thank you. You give the best pep talks. :)Lianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433982285279868047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-56148146647435706002014-10-01T09:47:22.879-04:002014-10-01T09:47:22.879-04:00Anyone who has ever suffered from depression or de...Anyone who has ever suffered from depression or dealt with it by being with a person who suffers from it understands that it IS a reason for not exercising. I've had some bad things happen to me and the hardest thing has to be forcing myself to actually get moving when depression hits. And I don't get as depressed as my spouse and child do. <br /><br />All you can do about the guilt is accept that something beyond your control happened and forgive yourself. Because it was beyond your control. You didn't ask for it, you didn't encourage it, and you certainly didn't go looking for it. But it happened and now you've moved on.<br /><br />I'm not saying you're fully recovered because it sounds like you aren't. But you are recovering and now you're dealing with the results. First thing you have to do is accept that it wasn't your fault and stop feeling guilty. Second thing you have to do is put it behind you.<br /><br />You might not remember anything from Bunny's first year but there were other people around who do. Your girls, other friends and relatives. Ask them for details. But don't worry about remembering details. If Bunny wants to know them when she gets older you can have a discussion with her then. For now, she's three and that is it's own magical time.<br /><br />You have a responsibility to yourself and your family to make sure you recover so take care of yourself and let the guilt go. Don't worry about what other people think and judge. They weren't in your shoes and if they don't understand, then that's their issue. Don't make it yours.Ilnara Heskenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18299242041768818364noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-92141577385269408412014-09-30T20:10:27.569-04:002014-09-30T20:10:27.569-04:00Tammy, I really hope that wasn't real story. I...Tammy, I really hope that wasn't real story. I don't think I would have survived a situation like that. *hugs*Lianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433982285279868047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-17162928762990631972014-09-30T17:33:53.029-04:002014-09-30T17:33:53.029-04:00Thank you for sharing this, Liana. At least you kn...Thank you for sharing this, Liana. At least you know it wasn't your fault, and you still have Bunny. You can remember her life from now on. It's ever so much worse when your newborn dies right away, just weeks before you have to move out of state for a new job and lose your entire support network.hellotammyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18028379267204270359noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5329782430566577328.post-3475170360167332002014-09-30T16:59:51.773-04:002014-09-30T16:59:51.773-04:00Thank you for writing this post. I've never be...Thank you for writing this post. I've never been there. I don't have kids. But I think it's important to see this side of it. A. B. Keuserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15152107659542138178noreply@blogger.com